4 bad psychological habits you need to get rid of as soon as possible

psychologist

What psychological habits harm us and why?

There are things that we do automatically, without thinking. Many of them then become habits that accompany us throughout our lives. But some such habits can be toxic. Today we’re going to look at four habits that are detrimental to your psychological health.

Comparing yourself to someone else

Let’s look at Petya or Vasya. Better yet, let’s look at their banogram. What a class, right? What a wonderful and interesting life they have. How much they have, how many places they have visited. Do you feel calm and peaceful? Or maybe a slight envy, and in the inner dialog hangs the thought “well, why don’t I have such a great life as they have”?

We are not Buddhist monks, and nothing human is alien to us, including envy. But the problem is that we compare ourselves to an artificial image that doesn’t really exist. And even if we are close to a very successful person, we do not know how much he spent on it nerves, forces, resources, what were his starting conditions. And whether he is really so happy with his success.

This comparison with other people gives us nothing. It’s a mind trap and a bad habit. You don’t need to compare yourself to someone to get motivated and run to somehow improve your life.

Demanding too much from ourselves

Probably many of us were told by our parents at school “why a C and not a B, why second place and not first” and so on. This accompanies us into adulthood. And I could have bought an apartment not outside the Moscow Ring Road, but in the center. I could have bought a car with a two-liter engine instead of 1.6. And I could earn 150 thousand, not 100 thousand.

Now it’s not our parents who tell us that, it’s us. We devalue our achievements because they are not the best. Although in fact what we have done is quite serious and deserves respect. The demands for something “better” are endless, they will never end. If you learn to recognize your accomplishments, life will turn a different color.

Don’t let yourself rest

Sometimes it seems that you should work a little more, and great happiness will happen in your life. I will close this project, then it will be easier. I’ll buy a car/apartment/home/vacation to the sea (emphasis added), and then I’ll be happy.

The truth is that our world is built on neurotic achievement. No one asks themselves whether they really need this or that thing. It’s as if by default there is a set of “accomplishments” that we have to get. But this race is exhausting. It sucks the energy out of us without giving us any guarantees in return.

The cardinal rule of capitalism is “human needs are infinite, the world’s resources are limited.” And in this race we forget about ourselves. We put our physical and mental health on the altar of achievement.

But strength also needs to come from somewhere – even just to live. That is why it is important to be able to notice our state and to slow down in time, to take a break for rest. Otherwise you will not avoid burnout and depressive states. If you do not give yourself a rest, the body will do it for you and put you down by force.

Keep emotions within yourself

You are a flint. You are such a flint that nothing can break through. And even while watching “Hachiku” you only sniffed once. But you’re not a robot, are you? In our society, it’s generally mauvais to express “negative” emotions. Especially men who were brought up in the spirit of “men don’t cry”. Now remember the statistics of men dying from heart attacks – and at what age it happens.

We have glands in our bodies that secrete hormones. Depending on what’s going on in the world around us, different glands get activated. When something sad or tragic for you happens, the glands that are responsible for a specific reaction – tears – are triggered. It’s not even psychology – it’s physiology. It’s how the body regulates itself. You can hold back your emotions, but then this impulse will remain inside you. It will not go anywhere and will be with you until it finds a way out. This is how psychosomatic diseases are formed.

As I have already said, in our society it is not accepted to express your emotions. Therefore, it is very important to find a place and a person with whom you can react in any way and show any feelings.