communications expert, psychologist, author of the book “How to live in a marriage without marriage”
“It is impossible to change and re-educate a man. Most women should accept their man as he is. There is no need to enter into a relationship with the attitude, ‘It’s okay, I’ll work on it later.’ The plan is doomed to failure.”
First, if you are guided by such a belief, then you will have to change the entire family lineage of the man from which he came, which is impossible. The unpleasant truth for many women is that they get an already formed partner with hardened habits, beliefs, views on life, acquired in the course of parental education and absorbed with the milk of the mother. It is pointless to go against the system that has been built up over tens and hundreds of years.
Secondly, true love implies acceptance of the other half with all the peculiarities. Otherwise, why do you need a relationship in which everything needs to be redone?
Third, there is no need to try to fix the other person. Start with yourself. Try to build a line of behavior that will encourage a man to behave in a certain way.
Of course, there are examples of life when women managed to re-educate their chosen ones, but for this they had to take the position of “mommy” who controls the partner, teaches life, criticizes. Of course, in such families there are enough “side effects” in the form of deterioration of intimate relations, the emergence of bad habits in men (alcohol, smoking, frequent cheating).
Why does this happen? Because sooner or later a strongly compressed spring is sure to straighten out. The favorite will let off steam by any improvised means to cope with the pressure and the need to be the way he wants to see the lady of the heart.
Moments that can not be changed in a man
1. Values
It is impossible to change a man’s values that he came into a relationship with because they were laid down by his parents from his early years. Fighting what seems naive, wrong or ridiculous to you is very foolish. Values are a part of ourselves, so such aspects cannot be reconsidered or changed at the first request of the beloved soulmate.
2. Communication style
Every person has a different communication style that makes him or her a person. You can only try to improve communication in a couple, and no more. If the chosen one is a silent or, on the contrary, a talker, and it is terribly annoying, why would you start a relationship with him?
3. Interests
The man has his own hobbies, from which he does not have to give up for you. Yes, he likes fishing, soccer, and you were well aware of them. Once in a relationship, a partner doesn’t have to give up his hobbies. The only thing you can do here – unobtrusively and carefully try to interest him in something that will please the two of you.
4. Religious beliefs
This item is taboo and is not subject to any attempt to interfere. Do not question the chosen one’s religious views and do not try to influence them.
5. Domestic habits
It will not be possible to eliminate the bad habits of your partner. You can slightly minimize annoying manifestations or just put up with it. Yes, your loved one does not screw the tube of toothpaste and never puts a sandwich on the plate, when snacking in the living room in front of the TV. Screw the caps on yourself and keep a vacuum cleaner nearby.