How to always achieve your goals: psychologist's advice

Setting a goal does not mean achieving it. Many projects remain archived in the brain without material embodiment. The reason for this is internal barriers that do not allow you to move in the direction of what you have planned.

psychologist, ICF coach, expert on self-value

There is good news – it is possible to learn how to manage consciousness and remove blockages. But before you start fighting problems, you should learn how to find them. There are many reasons for the lack of motivation to realize what is planned. Some of the attitudes come from childhood.

Having dealt with some of them, it will be possible to make the first steps and proudly put a tick next to the column “realized plans”.

Often unrealized plans are the result of negative attitudes. They live deep in our consciousness and prevent us from moving forward. Negative beliefs about ourselves can lead to loss of energy, motivation, a state of powerlessness, and affect our physical condition.

Our psyche reads it in the following way – if no one needs me, why should I improve myself.
If I do not succeed, nothing good will happen in my life. Desires and life goals disappear. Self-destructive mechanisms are triggered, and various addictions may appear.

There are several negative attitudes directed at ourselves, which prevent us from living a full life and going to our goals.

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1. Category of needlessness

Feelings of their own inferiority strongly affect performance. They manifest themselves in phrases that can often be heard: “Nobody needs me”; “There is nothing to love me for”; “I am not good enough, smart enough, successful enough to be accepted, loved”.

Solution: realize your own importance and value.

2. Helplessness category

The following attitudes are sewn up in the following words: “I never succeed at anything, I can’t do anything on my own, I can’t manage. I will never accomplish anything on my own.” You can’t feel happy, more fears, stresses appear.

Solution: realize your own strengths. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. With each new step there will be experience, and the result will improve. A negative view of yourself has nothing to do with reality.

3. Perfectionism

The desire to do everything perfectly can lead to nervous breakdowns. When starting some action, you focus not on the end result, but on external circumstances. If something does not meet the criteria, it is rejected and there is a need to create perfect conditions. But in such a case, the work will be endless. There will never be perfect data.

Solution: let go of the situation, don’t be afraid of rough edges and failures. There are no perfect people or circumstances.

4. Imposed ideals

Here we are talking about the attitudes that accompany us from childhood. For example, that only good, obedient will succeed. Often there is a constant comparison of ourselves with the models of such behavior – a successful classmate, neighbor, friend.

Before setting a goal to become ideal, it is worth answering the question – why do you need it? Whose approval, love and praise will you receive then? Who will recognize you then? Most likely, this person will be a significant parental figure.

Solution: don’t rely on other people’s opinions to try to earn a positive evaluation of your environment. Choose your own path to success.

5. Lack of flexibility

Being able to rearrange plans and paths based on circumstances is an important skill in today’s world. It doesn’t mean you have to give up on your goals and betray your dreams. It just means you need to be more flexible.

Na stránkáchsolution: learn to work around obstacles and make compromises.

Perhaps you’re not living that perfect life simply because you don’t know what you want? To pump up the skill of being yourself, use the advice of a psychologist here.