3 obsessive thoughts that interfere with life - how to get rid of them

Sometimes circumstances are favorable, but success still does not come. At such times, it is worth looking inward – what beliefs and fears are hindering our progress? Together with experts we tell you how to work with them.

Anastasia Magdysyuk

business coach working according to ICF international standards

What negative thoughts do you need to get rid of?

Indholdsfortegnelse

3 fears that hinder life and development

“I won’t succeed.”

Before achieving a goal a person is most often stopped by fear of failure and obsessive thoughts that all efforts are futile and in any case nothing will work out. On the one hand, the fear of failure is connected with judgment, which everyone faced in early childhood – “If you had tried harder, you would have gotten an A”.

On the other hand – with insecurity in oneself and one’s abilities, devaluation of one’s competencies and what is commonly called impostor syndrome.

The fear that things won’t work out often becomes the very fuel that constantly spurs you to try harder, while at the same time causing you to put things off until later.

“What will people think?”

Fear of social evaluation and rejection is at the heart of this thought. Evolutionarily, being left alone, without a tribe, was tantamount to death. Humanity has changed, but the fear remains.

When a person is rejected by their environment, condemned by their thoughts or behavior, they lose the ability to receive approval, the need for which is inherent in everyone. Feeling rejected can literally hurt, so often people choose to do nothing, to keep a low profile, to stay in the “pack.”

New accomplishments are usually associated with new surroundings, unfamiliar activities, something previously unexplored. Anything new causes fear because the brain views it as a threat, even if it promises success and well-being.

How to get rid of limiting beliefs

Thought-viruses that swarm in the head, it is difficult to track independently and assess their impact on the situation and on life in general, but it is still possible. It is important to realize that any thought is a product of choice. Everyone chooses what thought to think.

One can ask oneself what thought would be useful for me to think instead of the one that is currently in my head. Once you find it, begin to consciously control it, and each time you catch yourself in a limiting thought, stop and remember the promoting thought. If you can’t manage on your own, you can consult a coach or psychologist.

Anastasia Ponomarenko

psychologist, lecturer at the Moscow Institute of Psychoanalysis

You can ask yourself what thought would be useful for me to think instead of the one that is in my head now. Having found it, start consciously controlling it, and every time I catch myself on a limiting thought, stop and remember the promoting thought. If you can’t manage on your own, you can consult a coach or psychologist.

We are hindered from living by thoughts that belong to the categories of predictions, demands, and explanations. Each of us has our own requirements, family scenario, ideas about how things should be. But by unconsciously demanding that everything should be the way we think it should be, we get an unfinished gestalt. And this unfinished action is constantly running around in our heads, thus provoking a nervous state.

To get rid of thoughts that interfere with life, we need to start thinking constructively. Forecast to reformat into planning. That is, answer yourself the questions – what can I do, what do I want, what depends on me, what resources should be involved? In essence, prescribe a plan of action.

Explanations are better translated into analysis – what can I do about it right now? Then we move on to thinking – what are the realistic consequences of my actions? That is, when we transform unconstructive demands, predictions and explanations into productive planning, acceptance and analysis, we get rid of the thoughts that poison our lives and bring a positive attitude and harmony to it.