How to properly survive the midlife crisis. 6 practical tips from a psychologist

Sooner or later in everyone’s life there comes a time of change and simply analyzing the years that have passed. At this moment we think about what we have achieved and where we are going. This period comes at different times for different people, but it always has certain features.

Yulia Shlentsova

psychologist, co-founder of Smart&Art Educational Center

You cannot avoid the midlife crisis, but you can successfully overcome it. Here is how to do it.

How to recognize a midlife crisis

There are four groups of signs that can be used to recognize the midlife crisis.

The first group. These are external signs, that is, physical changes and health. There comes a period when you have to go to the doctor more often, take vitamins and medications.

The second group. These are internal signs, the so-called mental discomfort. Fatigue, loss of vital energy. Frequent attacks of bad mood, the usual joys cease to bring pleasure, favorite work no longer seems so interesting, and close people seem not quite close.

The third group. Behavioral signs that are a consequence of internal discomfort. There is no desire to actively communicate with friends and relatives, to go out “in the world”, there is a reticence, want to be alone, to minimize communication with people and limit themselves to short contacts “one on one”.

These signs may indicate impending depression. Learn how to avoid it in our material.

The fourth group. “Meaningful” signs. More and more often a person asks: “What is all this for?”, “Why do I keep doing it?”, “Who needs it?”, “Will it all be repeated many times?”. And the main semantic thesis of the midlife crisis is: “Everything is meaningless” and the key question is: “Will it always be like this?”

Does everyone face it?

All mature and adult people face a midlife crisis. It does not occur only in those people who live in a childish position, who transfer responsibility for their lives and actions into the hands of other people – parents, spouses, children – and who adopt a co-dependent position.

These are usually people who are stuck in a personal crisis. This is another type of inner crisis that precedes the midlife crisis, the “crisis of meaning”. Everyone who undergoes personal growth and personal development comes to a midlife crisis, but not everyone goes through it. Many get stuck in this state for the rest of their lives.

Is it possible to avoid it?

Midlife crisis is a psycho-emotional state in which we experience a reassessment of values, rethinking of our lives and achievements. It comes at the age of 30 to 60 years, everyone individually. This type of internal crisis is considered the longest and most difficult.

A person striving for development and a full-fledged in all senses quality life, sooner or later faces a crisis. It is impossible to avoid it, but you can successfully overcome it only by developing and practicing yourself. By consciously managing one’s emotions and psychophysiological states, it is possible to survive the midlife crisis more quickly.

If a person has never been engaged in his inner world, has not learned to reflect, it is almost impossible to pass this crisis alone without the help of a specialist. A person who chooses to live in the past and “live out” his century, not always successfully get out of this crisis.

How to survive this period correctly

The most important thing is to see and accept changes – both external and internal. It is very important to accept the situation that at the present moment a certain life program has been realized and it is necessary to build a new life strategy.

The state of health – both physical and psychological – also plays an important role. If there is no practical skill of reflexion, if the value structure has never been worked out, it is better to turn to a psychologist. Even one consultation can be the beginning of a path.

A few practical tips

Pay attention to your health. Check the hormonal background, because often natural physiological changes at the hormonal level can worsen the psychological state and coincide with the time of the crisis.

Revise your image and closet. In accordance with the body changes. However, do not get too carried away with cosmetologic procedures.

Pay more attention to a healthy balanced diet. Reconsider your attitude to physical activity: sport should be present in your life in one form or another, but in moderation and based on physiology and health. To maintain psychological health, it is very important, what is called, “feed the soul”: read fiction, reflect on the meanings that the author conveys through the images of characters.

Take care of your inner world. Reconsider your values and get rid of what is now irrelevant to you. As a rule, these are values that were important for achieving ambitious goals during the period of personal growth.

Listen to your true desires, review your skills. Highlight those that can be useful in the realization of true desires at the moment. Think about what you can do, using all your life experience to be interesting to yourself, your loved ones and society. That is, what you can do to remain independent and feel your need and demand.

Move forward, even if it is very scary. You have to understand and accept that most people have this crisis sooner or later, and it is not a bad thing. You are not alone, and it is okay to ask for help.

Don’t devalue your life and your past experiences. The result of a successful recovery from a midlife crisis is self-acceptance, love for your new self, and the ability to enjoy life in any form.