Speech coach named 6 skills that will help to take criticism correctly and without offense

Criticism is an inevitable part of any person’s life, but not everyone knows how to take it correctly. Often we respond to it immediately, without giving ourselves time to think about it. However, there are skills that help us to accept feedback calmly and without offense.

Some people react to criticism very emotionally: they get offended, irritated and lose patience. Others are not affected at all. Such people listen to comments, draw conclusions or ignore them without showing any negative emotions.

Voice design, speech and public speaking coach, TEDx speaker, corporate trainer

Criticism can be devastating to our confidence and motivation. This is especially true for those who suffer from an imposter complex. Rather than helping with development, a harsh comment can destroy the rudiments of confidence by scaring us and causing us to put our hands down. Each of us would like to hear only positive feedback, but in practice this is not always the case. Often we receive not only praise but also negative opinions.

The good news is that you can learn to perceive criticism differently and not lose motivation after hearing it. Let me tell you how to do this.

1- Identify the source of the criticism

If you encounter a negative comment or criticism about yourself, first of all ask the question, “Is this person worth listening to?”. Who is the person expressing the criticism? Is he or she an expert in your field of endeavor? Does he or she understand anything about the industry to express an opinion about you and your work?

If he just wants to insult or vent negativity, then his criticism will not be constructive and you should not take it to heart.

In the case when a person is really knowledgeable about the topic he is talking about, it may be worth listening to what he has to say. You can ask clarifying questions to see if you have understood his opinion and recommendations correctly. In this way, you will enter into a constructive dialog and get useful advice.

2- Stop trying to change your mind

Are you being criticized? Well, let them! Do not try to change the other person’s mind about their judgment. It is better to show kindness and smile. Speak in a gentle tone, but don’t even try to influence them to change their point of view. This can be a very difficult task and sometimes impossible to do. Recognize for yourself that there will always be people who disagree with you, dislike you, and disapprove of your actions.

It is impossible to please everyone, and in time you will realize that even the most talented, successful and intelligent people have their critics and haters.

3. Give yourself permission not to respond

A person who criticizes can often be aggressive and quite harsh in expressing their thoughts. It is important not to respond in the same way. Your first impulse may be to respond to him appropriately. Believe me, this is not the best choice! Try to keep calm and operate with facts, avoiding personal attacks and insults.

It happens that a person’s aggression quickly fades away if you talk to him calmly and respectfully. Do you feel that you are unable to maintain a reasoned and calm dialog? Do you realize that communicating with the person you are criticizing takes away your energy and strength? You should not force yourself to communicate.

4. Work on your self-esteem

Living with imposter syndrome is difficult. Even when you are not subject to criticism. This means that it is difficult for such people to express their thoughts, defend their views, and speak in public.

People suffering from impostor syndrome are often victims of hatred and unfounded criticism because they are imbued with insecurity. This is evident in their posture, speech, and gestures. It is much easier for such people to be criticized because any comment only confirms the fact that they are not qualified enough to have their own opinion.

Always remember your achievements, of which you have many, and if necessary, make a list of merits on paper. Recall your successes and prove to your own imposter syndrome that your opinions and judgments are valid and interesting.

5. Be open and appreciative

If you categorically do not accept criticism, it means that you do not want to grow and develop. For example, you received negative feedback from your boss at work. Take it not as an attack on your personality, but as advice on how to improve the quality of your work.

Negative feedback is an opportunity to learn from your mistakes and become a better person. Thank the critic for the opportunity to see your shortcomings and work on them. Know how to be grateful. It will allow you to see the situation from a different perspective. Evaluation can sometimes be valuable feedback. It can help you improve your skills and learn new levels.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that criticism is always helpful or fair, but showing gratitude can help you deal with it more effectively.

6. Don’t take criticism personally

When people criticize our work, our actions, or our behavior, it doesn’t mean they are personally attacking us. They are merely voicing their opinion. For someone who does not take criticism personally, it is not seen as an evaluation of their personality, but as constructive commentary and an opportunity for growth and improvement. Such a person will not take offense or make excuses, but will view the comments as valuable feedback and use it to improve their skills and behavior.

What should you do if you encounter negative comments on social media? Social media is a powerful tool for expressing yourself, finding new information and making money. But many people still hesitate to blog publicly, worrying about possible negative comments.

Why do people leave negative comments?

First, many are looking for a community where their opinion is accepted without question. Second, even if you share useful information, some people will always have a point of view and may express it aggressively. Third, someone is just inept or purposely trying to hurt the author. All of this is normal, but it’s important to remember that honest and open content attracts adequate users.

How to deal with negative comments on your blog?

It is important to avoid aggression and insults in response. The rules of communication on your page are set by you. If a comment contains constructive criticism, admit your mistake, correct it and thank you for your help. If not, you should consider whether the author is an expert in the field and whether he has reasons for his negative comments.

Don’t take opinions and criticism from people who are not knowledgeable about your topic seriously. Pay attention to the opinions of those who are really important to you. Use a technique from psychological aikido, agreeing with the negativity and continuing your dialog with arguments.