How to understand what is missing for happiness exactly you? Answered by a psychologist

This question has always interested mankind. Psychologists, philosophers, sociologists and even economists have tried to answer it. Today, coaches and motivational speakers give lectures, write books and compile diaries on this topic. And this is not by chance. We all want to be happy. Often we blame external circumstances for failures and troubles. In fact, everything is only in our hands.

Anastasia Shvyrkova

psychologist

For each particular person, the components of such a state will be different. People with different upbringing, values and goals come to me for counseling. For someone it is important to have a successful marriage and children. For others – the presence of a large sum of money in the account. For others it is enough that nothing bad happens. So what is happiness and how to find it?

What is it?

Happiness is a psychological state in which one feels completely satisfied with life. It’s also about the inner worldview. That is, it is about how comfortable a person feels in the world. Different aspects are important. How often does he experience joy? What is his state of health? Is there a constant source of inspiration and meaning to existence?

Western success versus Eastern enlightenment. How to achieve happiness, read the link.

Why does not a person feel happy?

The fact is that it requires loving and accepting oneself. The way a person treats himself directly affects the way others treat him. Since we exist in society, it greatly affects the quality of our life, mood, thoughts. Let’s take a closer look at all the aspects that prevent us from being happy.

1. Low self-esteem. A big problem in our society is traumas from childhood. Because of them, most people are unable to be fully in harmony, to truly enjoy and genuinely rejoice.

If a person has problems with self-esteem, he usually has blocked feelings and a ban on emotions. He simply does not notice good things and events that could fill him with happiness.

2- Lack of self-love. We have not been taught to be honest with ourselves. To make positive changes in your life, it is important to know the answers to the following questions:

  • What do you like and what don’t you like?
  • What would you like to achieve in this life?
  • What qualities do you value in people?
  • What strengths and weaknesses do you have?
How to love yourself? We talk about it in detail HERE.

Why is this necessary? Only by fully understanding yourself, you will be able to gain confidence in your strengths and life. This will allow you to chart a path for further development and improve relationships with loved ones. Only filled from within individuals who believe in themselves can share happiness with others.

3- Living by inertia. Stay in harmony can everyone. It is necessary to think about what a person does, why and for what. And most importantly – is it really what he wants?

If the answer to all questions is a firm “yes”, you are moving in the right direction. If there are doubts, it is necessary to correct the vector of life and understand yourself. The real step towards harmony and happiness is the development of awareness.

How to understand what you lack for happiness?

A psychologist will help answer this question. However, there is one simple exercise that you can do yourself. The result will surprise you!

Exercise

Take a piece of paper and answer the following questions in writing :

1. What would you change in the world around you and yourself?
2. What would you do if you didn’t have to work?
3. What would you do if you were unemployed and retired?
4. Write down five activities that you enjoy doing.

Analyze which answers are repeated several times? This is what you lack for complete happiness. What should you do next? Make a plan of concrete steps to achieve what you want. To accelerate the process will help a specialist. During a consultation with a psychologist, restrictive attitudes are worked through and fears are removed.

How to become the master of your emotions and manage your mood? Instructions from Andrei Kurpatov.
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