Üks on sõdalane põllul: kuidas jälgida oma toitumist, kui lähedased ei toeta sind?

Unfortunately, people at home often sabotage the decision to switch to a healthy diet by tempting them with “forbidden food”. In fact, this behavior is typical not only for nutrition, but also for many areas, when a person decides to change his lifestyle, but the environment pulls back. Psychologist Nadežda Pozharova and nutriciologist Anna Glumova tell us how to be in such a situation and not to go off the planned path.

Food is not only about needs, but also about emotional help

Now not only psychologists, but also fitness instructors and other specialists who work with the body, come to the fact that it is very important not to forbid yourself everything, but to examine your own needs.

For example, a person has junk food in his life and this way of eating for him is about pleasure and joy. As the psychologist notes, for many people eating delicious food, for example, in a fast food restaurant is a kind of entertainment, and if you do it with friends, it is also a way of interaction, meeting the need for care and communication. In this case, changes in diet can become not only stressful. A person will lose the ability to fulfill their emotional needs.

The point is also that for many people the attitude works like this: you can’t be happy for nothing. And then one of the few ways to “justify” the joy and pleasure of life becomes delicious food. This is an absolutely understandable pattern of behavior, known to most people since childhood: for example, the system of encouragement with candy.

In general, for a person, food fulfills an important psycho-emotional function – it unites. Gathering around the family table, going to a cafe with a friend, lunch break at work – often people do not even think about what could be an alternative to eating together. Food is an ingrained and habitual way of maintaining relationships: having breakfast together, going to a restaurant or bar, going out for a romantic dinner, eating ice cream on a walk, etc.

So it’s very important to explain to yourself that food is not a link between you and the world, but a way to satisfy physiological needs. This requires quite a bit of work on yourself: you have to learn to distinguish between your emotional needs and your physical needs.

Breakdowns are not an absolute defeat, what matters is the process, not the result

If people treat the story of dietary change as a challenge and are focused on the end result, there will be room for feelings of fear and shame when they breakdown. It’s worth it to stray a little from the plan and you feel guilty. With this approach, it’s hard to stick with it for long.

If you want to change your diet and lifestyle in general, you should focus not on a distant ephemeral goal, but directly on the process. Take changes as a natural part of life, try to revise your value system, views on food. And consider breakdowns as much a part of what is happening as changes. Let today you want to go back to your old habits and eat pizza. Even if it’s for dinner. Maybe with a sugary soda. But it doesn’t undo everything you’ve done before.

Lootus: In psychotherapy, there are setbacks, reverts to previous states. Also in the body: everything happens non-linearly, and a person may well have desires to do things differently, the way they are used to. The thing is the system of neural connections: the body remembers how it acted before, and, of course, the psyche will resist any changes. The body doesn’t want to reorganize itself when everything is working smoothly. This is normal, and it is important to support yourself in this. Sometimes it’s worth it to go along with your whims.

Also, the body rebuilds much slower than the head. For example, you decided that from Monday you lose weight. But the body thinks otherwise: for example, it’s winter outside, all systems are working to keep warm and support immunity. What is there to lose weight, which provokes additional stress, and therefore, and risks? In such situations, the body is smarter than the mind, says the psychologist. And resistance to change is normal and natural.

It is important to be confident in your decision and not to go along with the system

Sometimes a person may be ashamed and uncomfortable to refuse to eat together. For example, relatives arrange a sit-down with unhealthy goodies or friends call for a party where there will be rolls, pizza and other “delights” of fast food. Another situation is that a person is uncomfortable because everyone will eat one thing and he will eat another, and he feels “different”, a hermit and an outsider. This is where it comes down to relationships between people and attitudes towards oneself.

When you don’t feel confident in what you’re choosing – for example, to change your diet – and at the same time you’re not supported by your loved ones, and everyone around you is trying to get you back on track with buns and burgers, the system will work against you. For example, if everyone in the family is used to overeating, it is a way for them to cope with stress. Then it is absolutely natural that if a person starts to actively lose weight, it will be incomprehensible and even scary for their family system. That’s why it’s very important to realize yourself as a separate person. Yes, you are close to your family, but this does not mean that you should exactly repeat the behavior of your relatives. You can be different, and you have every right to be different.

Lootus: To work with your body, you have to have a very big inner stability to change something within the system too. And, in my opinion, the support of a kind of community is very important here. That’s why people gather in interest groups, unite to support each other. Psychological support also works. You can help yourself with different books. There is a lot of literature on the subject of psychology and weight loss. For example, “The body remembers everything” by Bessel van der Kolk, “The owl used to be the baker’s daughter” by Marion Woodman, “Anxiety. A Look Into Yourself” by Finn Skerderud, and others.

Practical advice from a nutriciologist

As the nutriciologist notes, it’s important to explain to yourself that food is not the only pleasure in life. There is a whole spectrum of positive emotions derived from very different sources. Fill your life with colors: sports, travel, new hobbies, socializing, reading – shift the focus away from food. Remember: we eat to live, not the other way around.

But what to do if you are at a family party, the table is bursting with mayonnaise salads, fried potatoes, pies and sweets? Here are some tips that will help you not to go off the rails in such a situation:

• You can take food with you.
• On any table, you can choose more appropriate dishes, such as meat and vegetables.
• If you confidently follow the dietary regimen, there is nothing criminal in a single deviation from the course. For example, we generally adhere to a healthy diet, and 1-2 times a year on a birthday or other holiday we eat cake or salad with mayonnaise. This will not cause critical damage to health. But this option is suitable only for those who are no longer addicted to food.

As practice shows, when a person gets used to a clean healthy diet, harmful gastronomic “delights” do not please him: previously favorite unhealthy food no longer seems so tasty. And there is no reason to have a breakdown.