What is charisma in simple words and how to develop it

What is charisma? In simple terms, it is a person’s ability to attract attention and influence other people by charming them.

It is not just about the ability to build a beautiful speech or somehow look special. It means a rattling mixture of self-confidence, inner strength, energy and the ability to find a common language with completely different people.

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A charismatic leader knows how to persuade, inspire, motivate others. And he does it so filigree that he easily inspires trust and respect in others. From the outside it may seem as if this person has some special magic, innate talent, a gift from God.

Is it really so? Is it possible to develop charisma? Let’s understand all the nuances of the topic and act.

For a long time it was believed that it is impossible to become a charismatic, he must be born. Later it turned out that this is not true. Each person has an individual charisma. It manifests itself from early virginity. And then parents, relatives, friends, teachers at the right moment either support these manifestations in the child, or not.

If the second scenario works, a person can grow up feeling completely ordinary. It will seem to him that he has no special talents. Alas, this is a very common occurrence. The good news is that charisma is not a gift from God, but a skill that is quite realistic to pump.

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What mistakes can be at the beginning of the path?

Mistake #1. Trying to look better than you really are

When we talk about charismatic personalities, most often there are people in front of our eyes that we want to be like. It always seems like they are better than ourselves. We start to think that we need to do just that – try to play their role. Talk in a similar way, dress in a similar way, use the same gestures, jokes, etc.

We idealize these people and don’t think about the fact that they have flaws too. Usually they just don’t come into the focus of our attention. We read the general impression and some individual features. On their background possible shortcomings (appearance, behavior, etc.) pale into insignificance. Do we do the same with ourselves? No. We see absolutely all “non-idealities” in ourselves.

This is not a call to look for flaws in everyone! It’s just important to realize that there are no perfect people. But everyone is unique. By the way, sometimes it is the very common “flaws” are the basis of personal charisma. For example, loud laughter, expressive facial expressions, bright display of emotions, etc. All this can be your chip, highlight.

When you try to play someone, it looks unnatural and repulsive. Just be yourself. Believe me, this way you will become much more attractive to others.

Mistake #2. Overly criticize yourself

Does a charismatic person knows about his mistakes and shortcomings? Oh yes! Does he criticize himself for them? Definitely not.

Improving himself and his weaknesses, constantly learning and practicing self-development is a great scenario. But it should not come from self-depreciation. You need to improve yourself by realizing your uniqueness and enjoying the process. Here and now.

The best option is to accept yourself as you are and gradually pump yourself up in different directions.

Mistake #3. Not pumping empathy

A charismatic person can show himself in society to the fullest. It is easy for him to be in the center of attention, motivate, inspire and lead people. The thing is, he senses them.

Develop your empathy. Listen to other people and try to understand their point of view. Try to get a feel for the motivations behind their behavior. Think about how you would act if you were in the person’s circumstances.

The ability to listen and hear others is an important skill of a charismatic person, which should not be neglected.

How to develop charisma?

Tip #1. Work on self-confidence

It is very important to get rid of fears, doubts and resentments. This is not a quick process. It is best to go through it hand in hand with a psychologist. However, there is a simple exercise with which you can start self-pumping.

Take a notebook, a pen and write out all your talents and achievements. Write everything you can remember: won a prize at the Olympiad, went to art school, got a job yourself, etc. Even if you think you remember everything perfectly well, don’t be lazy – write it down on paper. It is important for our brain not just to know, but to see what you can be proud of.

Such an exercise will make you feel more significant, important, valuable and confident.

Tip #2. Pump up your emotional intelligence

All our “I feel unclear”, “I don’t know what I want”, “I don’t understand how to achieve goals” are perceived from the outside as insecurity and weakness of character. At the same time, a large number of people simply do not recognize their true desires, emotions and motivation. That is why they stay in this state – suspended indecision. To overcome it, you need to develop emotional intelligence. To this end, you can do the following exercise.

Keep a “diary of emotions” for a month . In the morning, at lunch and in the evening write down in it absolutely everything that you feel. Try to understand what exactly caused these emotions, and think of ways to improve the situation, to ease the tension.

Näiteks, let’s take the morning, when you are absolutely irritated by everything. Why? It’s because you have to drive to work through traffic. How can you improve the situation? Download an audiobook that will be interesting/useful to listen to on the road. You can choose from a variety of options. Think about what will be optimal for you.

If you are not lazy to conscientiously keep a diary, you will gradually become better understand yourself, you will be able to formulate your thoughts more clearly and express your personal opinion in a reasoned manner.

Tip #3. Show yourself in society

Speak your mind. If you are used to keeping silent, it is better to start “giving voice” gradually. For example, tell your friends or colleagues about your position on an issue. It is better to choose some safe topic, which is not expected to be a fierce discussion.
Learn to communicate properly with people. Become more attentive to the interlocutors, try to find common topics for conversation. Ask questions that will be interesting for them to answer.
Develop leadership skills. Be proactive, offer your ideas and unite people around you. Start small. For example, organize a party for friends or family.
Participate in events. Events (holidays, events, etc.) at work, volunteering, and community activities are all great opportunities to showcase yourself and make new connections. If the items described above can be consciously pumped up, there will be no special difficulties. There will be a desire to show yourself.

The most important lifehack – be yourself. Remember that charisma – not just a set of exercises. This is your new lifestyle, which will add energy, brightness and drive. You will definitely be able to become a real star and stand out from the crowd, radiating your special light!