Mis on gosting? Mõistame, miks inimene võib järsku ignoreerida

The term “ghosting” (from the word “ghost” in English) refers to a situation when the interlocutor suddenly leaves the chat room or stops communicating and does not answer messages and calls. At the same time without explaining the reasons. That is, he suddenly disappears like a ghost.

Gosting can be both a tool to stop communication altogether and a permanent tactic to avoid conflict in a long-term relationship. As a one-time act, when a person evaporates and never gets in touch again, and periodically recurring situation. For example, when a partner disappears off the radar at a time when their other half is trying to solve a problem.

Relationship gosting is becoming more and more common in today’s world. This approach to communication can cause serious emotional trauma and frustration for one partner.

Psychologist, systemic family therapist, Psychedemia expert

“Openness, sincerity and respect for the other person’s feelings play a key role in forming a strong and healthy relationship. When one neglects communication and interaction, it can lead to imbalance and create distance between partners. Let’s break down what gesturing is.”

Millest me räägime

Possible causes of gosting

If you’ve encountered gosting, you probably have a misunderstanding as to why the person did it. Couldn’t you write at least once, talk and explain why he wants to end the relationship? In fact, why a man chooses to just disappear from the radar instead of having a frank conversation has several possible reasons. To elaborate.

• The first reason for ghosting in a relationship may be fear of conflict and uncomfortable conversations. Some people avoid confrontation and prefer to just disappear so they don’t have to face difficult situations and complicated emotions. They may fear that a frank conversation will lead to conflict or breakup, so they choose self-isolation.
• The second reason for gosting is insecurity about themselves and their feelings. People experiencing relationship doubts may seek to avoid uncomfortable conversations or conflicts for fear of being rejected or left unsatisfied. They don’t know how to properly express their feelings and thoughts. Therefore, they prefer to just disappear.
• Another reason for gosting is the unwillingness to be sincere and open. Some people prefer to hide their true emotions and intentions for fear of being vulnerable. They may feel that it is better to be silent and detached than to open up and let their partner see their true feelings.

In addition to the reasons mentioned earlier, there are several other factors that can contribute to grieving in a relationship.

• Fear of vulnerability. Some people try to avoid showing their “defenselessness” to others. Why does this happen? They fear that this condition will be used against them. This fear leads to a person preferring to just disappear rather than open up and allow themselves to be vulnerable in a relationship.

• Lack of time and energy. Modern lifestyles are often characterized by high workloads, stress and lack of rest. In this situation, people may withdraw due to a banal lack of time and energy. They simply do not have the resource to maintain communication and socialize with their partner.

• Dissatisfaction in the relationship. What it means. If a person doesn’t feel satisfied with the relationship or doesn’t see the joy and benefits in it, they may lean toward gosting. This is the partner’s way of trying to avoid unpleasant breakup talk. Or he or she may simply continue to play a role in the relationship without giving it any meaning.

Whatever the reasons, this behavior suggests that the person has unresolved issues and internal conflicts that he or she can’t deal with any other way. If you encounter gosting, you definitely don’t need to blame yourself and try to justify the other person. Anyone deserves honest communication in a relationship.

Consequences of gosting

The negative consequences of gosting can be significant and have a serious impact on the emotional state and well-being of partners. Here are some of the major negative consequences of this behavior.

1. Distrust due to a mismatch between words and actions. Gosting means suddenly cutting off communication with a partner without explanation. This creates a mismatch between what was promised or said earlier and the actual actions. This behavior can cause frustration, doubt and bewilderment in the other party.

2. Loss of respect in the relationship. Gosting leads to a breakdown of trust and communication between partners. If you leave a person without an explanation, without giving them the opportunity to discuss what is going on and to speak up, there is a risk of spoiling the relationship and creating a negative impression of themselves.

3. Loss of closeness and intimacy. What does this mean? Gosting can lead to a loss of closeness and intimacy in a relationship. It undermines the foundations of trust and connection between people. It contributes to further distance and divergence in the relationship. Gosting can also cause feelings of loneliness, unspoken resentment and misunderstanding.

4- Emotional trauma and stress. A partner who is subjected to gosting may experience heartache, stress, and feelings of rejection. The unexpected disappearance of a person from one’s life without explanation is experienced painfully and causes helplessness.

5. Loss of self-esteem. Gosting can affect a partner’s self-confidence, causing doubts about their own attractiveness, value as a person and ability to maintain a healthy relationship. An unknowing disappearance causes the person who has been abandoned to feel sad and dissatisfied with themselves.

6. Difficulties in future relationships. The surviving partner may later have difficulty trusting and opening up in new relationships. This behavior arises from the fear of being abandoned or ignored again. This can lead to increased caution, avoidance of intimacy, and difficulty in establishing a healthy and close relationship.

Thus, gosting not only causes emotional pain and frustration to the partner, but can also lead to negative consequences for both parties. Therefore, it is important to strive for open and sincere communication, respecting each other’s feelings and resolving conflicts constructively. One should try to avoid gosting so as not to hurt the other and destroy the relationship.

Ways to Prevent Gosting

Overcoming gosting in a relationship requires awareness, communication skills and respect for your partner. Here are a few ways that can help you solve this problem.

1- Being honest with your partner. In a relationship, it’s important to remain open. If you have concerns or doubts, try to discuss them with your partner. Avoiding conversations and disappearing only makes things worse. Being frank and willing to express your feelings will help avoid misunderstandings and conflicts.

2. Listen and try to understand the other person. It is important not only to express your thoughts and feelings, but also to respect your partner’s point of view. Understanding his emotions, needs and aspirations will help to strengthen mutual understanding and bring you closer together.

3. Develop communication skills. Why is this important? Working on your own communication skills will help you avoid conflicts and misunderstandings in your relationship. It is necessary to be able to express your thoughts and feelings in an accessible and understandable way, to listen actively to the interlocutor. Also to solve conflicts constructively if possible and to be emotionally intelligent in communication. All these are “soft” skills that can be developed through various trainings, work with a psychologist and a lot of training in everyday communication.

4. Set clear boundaries and discuss expectations. This is important to do at any stage of a relationship. Misunderstandings and painful situations often arise, for example, if one partner believes that he or she needs to be in touch every day, while the other is comfortable meeting once a week. He or she does not see the need to maintain communication between meetings.

Also, for example, if you don’t want to face gosting in the relationship, you can spell out at the beginning that ignoring more than a day is unacceptable for you. Discussing your expectations can prevent conflicts.

5. Show compassion for each other. Understanding your partner’s feelings and needs, expressing responsiveness to their emotional state, and being supportive and helpful during difficult times can strengthen the understanding and bond between you.

6. Work on your own development. To prevent misunderstandings and problems, it is helpful for each partner to develop self-esteem, self-confidence, and emotion management skills. The more aware you are of your feelings and needs, the easier it will be to build a healthy and sustainable relationship.

7. Seek professional help. In case you can’t overcome relationship problems on your own (you constantly “disappear”, ignoring other people, or, on the contrary – you often suffer from gosting in relationships), it is useful to seek help from a psychologist or psychotherapist. He or she will be able to help you understand the difficult situation, cope with negative patterns of behavior and build healthy communication.

Overcoming gosting requires effort and understanding on both sides. It is important to work on yourself by developing empathy, communication and self-awareness skills.

Open and sincere communication is the foundation of a healthy and trusting relationship. When partners can freely express their thoughts, emotions, and needs, it promotes understanding, respect, and intimacy between them.

Honest communication involves more than just being able to talk frankly about your own feelings and desires. One must also be willing to listen to and understand their partner. It is important to remember that honest communication is not only about expressing positive emotions, but also about being able to have frank conversations about difficult issues, problems, and disagreements.

Couples who are willing to discuss their misunderstandings, resolve conflicts, and build a dialog based on support and trust create a strong foundation for healthy and sustainable communication. Only through honest communication can harmonious and joyful relationships based on mutual respect and love be created.