He’s the best and you’re nobody: 10 traits of a toxic person and beacons in behavior

Imagine: you come to the gym with a training program and confidence in your abilities. You do one approach, another… Then a stranger comes up to you and starts giving advice. It turns out that you are doing a lot of things wrong… For some reason (although his form does not confirm it) he knows everything better. And about the technique of the press, and about the correct breathing. If you’re a professional, you’ll just brush it off. That’s what you should do with “toxics”.

social psychologist, business coach

Let’s start with the main thing – briefly define the characteristic features of such a person. The very beacons to which you need to pay attention. Why? To realize in time that you are facing a “toxic”, and not to become his victim. Such people undervalue other people’s self-esteem and feed off this energy.

The main signs:

1. the position of the victim;
2. resentfulness;
3. a motto in life – “Everything is always bad”;
4. a tendency to blame and criticize;
5. envy;
6. love of gossip;
7. deceitfulness, tendency to misinformation;
8. the habit of dramatizing everything;
9. self-righteousness;
10. unwillingness to take responsibility.

Now let’s look at the manifestations in more detail. How does he behave? There are often such people in the team. Have you noticed something like this for someone?

How he lives and behaves

Often a toxic person, being in sadness, is looking for a rescuer. He is constantly ready to take offense. It is important to find a reason for this. A person tries to cause guilt in others and cleverly manipulates them.

He has a negative perception of reality. Seeks to spread anxiety and regret around him. Passes it off as realism. He nags, devalues and is not happy even with the positive manifestations of those around him.

A toxic person feels bad when others are doing well. Such a person forms a sense of shame for the successes of others. Ascribes them to luck or meanness. He rejoices in other people’s downfalls. Tends to discuss people behind their backs. In a negative way, of course. He’s often the cause of strife in a team.

His typical tactic is to be friends with someone against someone. Lying is an opportunity to create an atmosphere of uncertainty and mistrust to make himself look better. That’s why he resorts to it all the time.

A toxic person is always highly emotional. Exaggerates the significance of events, as if living in a play. He’s always “the expert on everything in life.” He behaves as if he understood and comprehended everything long ago. The credo of such a person: “If you disagree, you are either a fool or an enemy”. When failing, a toxic person always refers to external circumstances and other people.

What happens on the internet

On the Internet, such people behave the same way as in normal life. On the avatar he can look cute – smiling and with a kitty in his arms. The fact is that such a person does not understand and does not accept himself. But his behavior will put everything in its place.

He will constantly complain, accuse, criticize, heckle, dramatize. These are exactly the kind of people who are “right about everything” no matter what topic is being discussed.

Who is especially unlucky

Most of all, close people suffer from the behavior of such a person. They simply have nowhere to go. Further down the list are colleagues. They are often also forced to communicate and can not interrupt it at will. The least affected, of course, are ordinary acquaintances. They can easily interrupt this contact. This is exactly what they do most often.

How to resist

If such a person is a close person, then treat him with love and care. As one Eastern sage said: “If your close person has nine negative qualities and one positive one, pay all your attention to this positive quality, and it will eventually overshadow all the negative ones.

If it’s not about a loved one, however, it’s best not to feed such people with attention. Limit socializing with toxic people. Take care of yourself.