Where to channel anger and aggression so you don’t hurt anyone. 2 easy ways to cool down

Anger and aggression are very strong emotions that do not just appear and disappear. In cases when you are overcome by a wave of negativity, it is important to act clearly and decisively.

psychologist

Do you know people who never get angry? More precisely, they are angry, but they suppress all “bad” feelings. And, as a rule, outwardly they are very calm, although inside can rage a hurricane.

Because of education and beliefs, many people forbid themselves to express anger and aggression, being in constant tension. For years they tamp and store it all inside themselves. But at a critical moment, they can’t withstand the internal heat and deal with it as best they can:

• they either take it out on others;

• or they tolerate and destroy themselves.

Neither method is absolutely not ecological. In the first case, a person quarrels, quarrels and enmities with others. In the second – provokes the emergence and development of somatic (bodily) diseases.

Why does this happen?

A child gets acquainted with aggression approximately in the period from one to three years to experience parental acceptance. That is, when the baby screams, gets irritated, angry, when he disobeys, when he may break or smash something, he is not doing it “to spite” the parents, he is exploring his feelings – anger and aggression.

If the parent endures such intense feelings of the child, accepts them and helps him to live them, such an ecological acquaintance of the child with his healthy aggression in the future helps to transform it into inner strength, to show will, to assert boundaries and to achieve goals.

Psychologists and sociologists agree that the conflict of generations will never be exhausted. But it is still possible to come to mutual understanding. In the previous material told about effective ways to resolve disagreements.

If a parent for some reason can not withstand the aggressive behavior of the child and in response begins to resent, irritate, shame, accuse or punish, the child forms a ban on the manifestation of their feelings. And then this power, this energy, which is so necessary to go forward, is blocked. However, it does not disappear anywhere, but remains in the body.

To help yourself not to accumulate emotional stress, try the following simple actions:

1. Discharge anger and aggression through actions: any physical exercise will do (go for a run, beat a punching bag, do strength training). If it is difficult to realize it in the moment, you can release tension by stomping your feet on the ground or beating a pillow. Move your whole body and remember to breathe.
2. Recognize and name your inner feelings and then write them out. This “unloading” of emotions from the psyche onto paper will help free up resources to “digest” negative states.

These simple rules will help in the moment to cope with emotional tension in a difficult situation. Do not neglect them, because stress can provoke serious diseases. Read more about it at the link below.