How to get out of the friendzone: 2 important steps and a script in case of rejection

What is a friendzone and how to get out of it? Otherwise, this question can be formulated as follows: “How to bring the relationship to a new level?”. This topic is complicated, because we are talking about feelings that we sometimes can not admit even to ourselves, and even to outsiders….

What to do if you are stuck in such a relationship? In no case do not despair! Let’s understand all the nuances and prepare for any scenario.

psychoanalytical psychologist, CPT, coach

“The term “Friendzone” is used to describe a situation when one of the parties in a friendly relationship has romantic feelings, and the other… Often does not even think about the possibility of their development in this way. So how to get out of the friendzone, if you fall into the first category: you want something more, but do not know how to turn in this direction?”.

What is a friendzone?

The concept of “friend zone” has become massively popular thanks to social media, movies and TV shows. This phenomenon has become a topic for many discussions in the media and provocative discussions in online communities. Let’s get into the details of what it is all about. It does not matter whether a girl or a guy needs to get out of the friendzone – the principles of work will be the same.

Friendzone is a complex emotional situation when one party establishes a relationship at the level of friendship, while the other party, investing in them romantic feelings, experiences disappointment, resentment and feelings of inferiority. This can lead to misunderstanding and suffering for both the one experiencing something more than friendship and the other party in this tandem.

Friendzone can cause severe emotional trauma because it is often accompanied by anxiety and inner conflict. The one who finds himself in it may feel a loss of self-value and confidence. The other party, however, often feels guilty.

How to get out of the friendzone?

Step one

You need to start by analyzing the reasons why you want more than just friendship. It may be because of a strong emotional attachment, shared interests, or mutual support.

You may be going through a stage in life right now where the object of your attraction is extremely supportive and you feel like you are “falling in love”.

I think many of you know the movie Twilight. Here it is the perfect example of a friendzone. One of the key characters, Jacob, makes all sorts of signs of attention to Bella, but all to no avail. He gets stuck tightly in a friendzone and in a love triangle. But as soon as the object of Bella’s crush disappears, she tries to find salvation in her friend and begins to have feelings for him.

Obviously, getting from the friendzone to the lovestory is quite real. Having realized the true need for this scenario, you need to move on to step two.

Step two

If you are sure of the depth of your feelings, it is important to open up. One of the key aspects of a healthy relationship is being able to be honest with each other about how you feel. In the context of a romantic relationship, this is especially important. Admitting your feelings to another person can be a difficult task. However, having a frank conversation can provide a lot of positive benefits. It builds trust between partners, creates emotional intimacy and allows them to understand each other more deeply.

Many people are shy to talk about their feelings, afraid of frankness and vulnerability. And unfortunately, refusing to be honest can lead to misunderstandings and conflict. To build healthy relationships, it’s important to overcome this stereotype and start talking about your feelings openly.

Avoiding honesty is often associated with the fear of rejection. However, it is worth remembering that honest expression of emotions carries not only risk, but also an opportunity for growth and deepening of the relationship. Talking about feelings can be a building block for your emotional development.

Openly and honestly discussing your feelings with your partner is important for creating a harmonious and healthy relationship, whether it’s a friendship or a romance. It strengthens the bond, reduces potential conflicts, and promotes a better understanding of each other. Ultimately, opening up about your feelings is the path to a deep and mutually understood connection. And this is the foundation of a strong relationship.

When you make the decision that you are ready to move to a new stage of intimacy, you need to accept that this may lead to possible rejection or changes in friendships.

The emotional side of this process can be difficult, and it is important to prepare for the possible reactions of your friend or girlfriend. There is also a certain level of vulnerability that comes with being in a relationship. The risk of rejection can affect your sense of self and confidence. This requires a deep understanding of your own emotions.

Getting out of the friendzone has the potential to deepen and enrich the relationship, but comes with the risk of friendship loss and emotional pain. Preparing for possible rejection or change in the relationship and deep self-understanding are important parts of the process. If you want to get out of the friendzone and start dating your friend, all these points are important to deeply understand and work through.

Afterwards, the story can develop in different ways. Perhaps your friend / girlfriend only waited for a frank conversation to confess in return feelings. How to be if this is not the case?

You can simply suggest spending time apart from your friend and look for new opportunities to expand your social circle and acquaintances.

How long have you been socializing with someone other than your object of attraction? Or gathered with friends in a large group over a game of board games? Be open to new opportunities and friendships with other people.

Rethinking your social circle and making friends can bring many opportunities and perspectives in life. New people can prove to be wonderful and supportive. Meeting them will inspire change and transform lives. It is quite possible!

How to survive rejection and breakup?

After experiencing rejection or changes in the relationship with a dear person, it is essential to restore your self-esteem and confidence. How to do it?

1- Realize that rejection does not define our value as a person. Begin the process of rebuilding self-esteem by recognizing our strengths and the qualities that make us unique. Feel your emotions and accept them as they are. Communicating with loved ones and confidants will help you feel supported.

2. Make time for activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. You have shown courage by speaking up about your feelings, try to give space for them. Time is the magic cure after a tough conversation (for both you and your friend).

3- Pay attention to your accomplishments and successes, even if they may seem insignificant at first glance.

4. Take care of yourself. Realize that your well-being is a top priority. Resume exercising, taking care of your diet, sleep and other aspects of your health. Remember that the process of recovering from emotional trauma takes time.

Exploring and understanding your true feelings is essential to creating healthy and open relationships in today’s society. Empathy, honest communication, and respect for your own and others’ feelings can help you avoid painful situations of friendzone.

Each of us can find ourselves in such a situation, and it is important to pay great attention in understanding your own feelings (in relation to the object of your interest). Be honest with yourself and answer the question: “What exactly are your feelings towards the person? Is it a temporary attraction or a deeper emotion?”.

It all starts with an honest dialog with yourself. If you haven’t analyzed your feelings so far, start there. Are they deep and does the situation torment you? Then get out of the friendzone. Here again, honest dialog will help. Now the interlocutor is your friend. Sooner or later this conversation will take place. It is not necessary to exhaust yourself every day waiting. Perhaps it’s time to start a new life – with other people, feelings and prospects.