How to make up after a quarrel with a loved one and save the relationship? Psychologist’s instruction

psychoanalytical psychologist, CPT, coach

“Quarrels in any relationship are an inevitable element. However, if they occur regularly, they can cause serious damage to the partnership. Understanding the origins and impact of conflict is important in caring for the health of any relationship. Let’s discuss how we can resolve conflicts peacefully and restore harmony.”

What we’ll talk about

What is a quarrel?

A quarrel is a conflict arising from contradictions, disagreements and misunderstandings between the participants in a relationship. It can be caused by a variety of factors, from everyday problems to more serious issues such as value beliefs. Quarrels often arise due to lack of communication or misunderstanding of the partner’s needs.

A conflict situation has a significant impact on a relationship. It generates negative emotions and leads to instability in the psychological well-being of the parties.

Constant quarrels usually lead to a decrease in the level of satisfaction in the relationship. Also, conflicts deteriorate the trust between partners. They can cause the relationship to drift away and eventually lead to a breakup. It affects social, kinship or love relationships in the same way.

However, there are various ways of reconciliation. They help partners express their point of view and take the first step towards establishing communication.

How to resolve conflicts peacefully?

Peaceful conflict resolution is a fundamental principle of healthy relationships. It implies open, empathic and respectful communication, attention to the partner’s needs and emotions, and a willingness to compromise in the search for common solutions. This approach can reduce the negative impact of a quarrel, improve understanding in the couple and strengthen the relationship.

One of the techniques for understanding the causes of disagreements can be meaningful communication. Let’s look at it in more detail. Here it is important to take into account that communication includes not only direct statements, but also nonverbal signals. They often convey much more information than words. Remember that sometimes people fight over nothing, but the reason lies much deeper. Our interlocutor may be hurt, offended or lonely, and he shows these states through anger and shouting.

One strategy for meaningful communication to resolve quarrels is to emphasize the importance of listening to each other. It is important to learn to be empathic and to understand the other person’s point of view, even if it seems wrong or strange to you. Clarify the relationship with respect. This is a strategy that will help to establish a deep rapport and understanding of each other.

I also want to mention the importance of expressing your own feelings and needs. Sometimes conflicts arise because of dissatisfaction with something. In such a situation, it is important to learn how to express your emotions in an “ecological” way.

Finally, finding compromises plays a key role in resolving quarrels. It is important to remember that the solution that will satisfy both partners is not always ideal for each of them. Therefore, you need to be prepared to look for options that take into account the interests and needs of both you and your interlocutor.

Pay attention to another key point – forgiveness and apology. This allows you to realize your mistakes, express sincere regrets and demonstrate your willingness to change. Only through a trusting and “safe” atmosphere is it possible to come to well-being in the relationship.

How to restore communication after a quarrel?

Restoring trust after a conflict is a gradual and complex process. It requires time, patience and effort. Remember that trust can not arise instantly. It takes sequential steps. Give each other time, especially if the partner does not make contact. This is the first step to reconciliation. You can’t rebuild trust with words alone. Time gives space to build a soul connection. In addition, openness and honesty are the foundation for rebuilding trust, as it allows you to show a sincere willingness to change and improve communication.

Maintaining a relationship after reconciliation requires recognizing the importance of emotional intelligence. It is an important skill. It relates to the ability to manage one’s own emotions and to understand and perceive others’ emotions. Why it is important. Developing emotional intelligence skills helps you understand the positions of others, improves communication and builds rapport.

One of the main aspects of maintaining relationships after reconciliation is learning from experience. This means that a person consciously analyzes past conflicts, understands his own reactions, and chooses how best to act in the future. In this way, he will revise his behavior and learn how to interact effectively with his partner.

An integral aspect of maintaining a relationship after reconciliation is the development of effective communication skills. It is important to actively listen to your interlocutor, show empathy and express your thoughts and feelings clearly and appropriately. This helps to strengthen the relationship and, most importantly, to avoid repeating previous mistakes.

Reaching an understanding of the importance of ongoing training and development of emotional intelligence skills and effective communication after reconciliation is key to improving the relationship with your partner. One should always remember that a relationship is an ongoing process that requires constant effort and growth with each new experience.

Quarrels seriously affect communication, but they also provide an opportunity for growth and improved communication between partners. Understanding their impact and actively seeking to resolve conflicts peacefully will help build healthy, long-lasting relationships that can overcome challenges and grow stronger over time.