Why you don’t have to comment on everything going on in the world. Talking to a psychologist

Difficult times require difficult decisions, a lot of patience and the same amount of tolerance. It is normal to speak out about some processes in society, but it is also normal to remain silent. Moreover, not understanding what is going on, not having a clear opinion about events, being afraid and remaining in the shadows is also normal.

Why should people not feel guilty for this and what to do with such thoughts? We sort it out together with a psychologist.

Alina Sotova

crisis psychologist

Stand up for your personal boundaries. A person doesn’t have to know everything, realize everything, or make no mistakes. We are all human beings, and we are all imperfect.

Why do many people feel the need to speak up?

There are now many resources to speak out, to be seen and heard. Or at least make yourself known in a larger space. This desire is normal. When there are high-profile events that affect each of us in one way or another, we want to respond and talk about it. It is a natural phenomenon.

The need to speak out is fueled by societal pressure: “If my friend said it, then I should too”. Some comments and messages can encourage people to speak out, because silence is a sign of indifference. Though it’s certainly not like that. This is what makes us choose words – the imposed sense of guilt and fear of appearing indifferent.

Why is it not shameful not to understand what is happening around us and admit it?

First of all, it is not shameful not to know something. A person is not obliged to know everything, to understand everything and to be an expert everywhere. Striving to understand the processes taking place and to form one’s own point of view is a good aspiration, but it is not an obligation.

When everyone is engaged in the business in which he or she is an expert, society becomes productive. In such a case we can deal with actual verified data and with really worthy arguments.

Unfortunately, when sudden changes occur, there is a lot of contradictory information from unverified sources and value judgments that can confuse the non-expert. If you have not been involved in this field at all, it is very difficult to suddenly become an expert.

How do you deal with the guilt that arises because of this?

It can be productive or neurotic, imposed. Nowadays you can face a lot of criticism, aggression, value judgments and negativity. This can cause feelings of guilt that are not actually true.

In such a situation, it is very important to separate our emotions, feelings and sensations from what we are trying to instill. Guilt is quite complex and destructive, and it is extremely difficult to deal with. First of all, we need to look for a fulcrum within ourselves, not in external factors.

In the current case, we are talking about feeling guilty not for yourself and your actions, but “for someone”. This is destructive, you should not succumb to such a thing. It is not your feeling, it is imposed by psychological pressure and actions from outside.

However, if you find yourself in a situation where they try to provoke you, you should try not to react sharply and emotionally. You should not enter into a polemic. Stay as calm as possible.

Defend your personal boundaries: boldly say that for you this topic is as painful, as controversial as for many, but you would not like to discuss it. Why? Simply because it’s difficult to talk about it right now or you don’t want to. That’s normal.

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