To be slim – a real desire or imposed standards?

A gender psychologist tells us how to understand your true desires.

The desire to lose weight for many people turns into a real race and a trap. In an attempt to lose excess weight people throw themselves into all sorts of things, but often do not get visible results and fall into depression. Of course, it is necessary to take care of health, and excess weight has never been good for anyone.

gender psychologist, master of neurolinguistic programming

It is possible to distinguish the real desire to become a slim person from the noise of other people’s priorities and standards imposed by someone else.

Thinking about health

The desire to be slim or the desire to be as it should be? In answering this question, the line is very blurred. Therefore, it is better to formulate as follows: “I want to be healthy”. It sounds clearer and more logical. After all, a healthy body is energetic, slender, taut.

To put it simply, a beautiful, slim figure becomes a consequence of a healthy lifestyle. And when a person loses weight for himself, for his well-being, based on love for himself – it is an amazing motivation.

Problems will not be solved this way

But in reality, people are often driven by the desire to meet someone’s standards, the goal is to please someone, to increase self-esteem. But this way is false. Because even with the achievement of ideal forms, problems with self-esteem will not be solved, as well as problems in relationships.

Understand, if the other half says: “You would lose weight, then we definitely everything will work out” – this is a clear signal that nothing will not work out. You do not need to believe in this “fairy tale”. Discord in the family or fading passion does not happen because of extra pounds. It’s a fiction.

Mental and bodily connections

But often people go to any lengths to meet someone else’s standards, to “return the love.” They drink dubious pills, sit on rigid diets, limited to 1000 calories a day, literally killed in the gym. But the body resists it, the mind revolts. The human body is a system. To deceive it is more difficult than it seems. And when the work on the figure is simply torture, the body begins to protest. After all, the bodily and mental connections are very close.

At some point the weight stops going away, there is a feeling of fatigue and emptiness. Often there are food breakdowns, and because of them there is a sense of guilt, which returns to the circles of apathy and low self-esteem. And, of course, health suffers. Can we talk about self-love in such a case? Of course not.

What to do?

Therefore, it is very important to frankly answer to yourself the questions:

• “I want to lose weight”?
• “Am I really going to love myself in my new body”?
• “Am I doing this for someone else or for myself”?

And if these questions are answered negatively and a person realizes that he or she is losing weight for anyone, but not for himself or herself – then it is necessary to work on self-esteem and value system. This is the only emotionally and physically healthy way. It is by following it, you can come to stable results in the form of losing excess weight, gaining a new shape and good health.

A healthy lifestyle is something that is practiced on a regular basis, delivering comfort. It is not a temporary measure, it is a vector of movement. There is no need to deceive yourself, you need to understand yourself and work on your value system.