A psychologist described the main reason that will not let you lose weight even on the toughest diet

One of the main characteristics of people who suffer from eating disorders, overeating, overweight or, on the contrary, its deficit – is the lack of self-acceptance. What is interesting is that it also forces people to go on diets that contradict all the norms of healthy eating, and to torment their bodies with excessive physical exertion. In most cases, these extreme measures do not work. Why?

clinical psychologist, gestalt therapist, supervisor

The main point of working with overeating, eating disorders and overweight is this: if you want to get your body in order, start accepting it (without conditions and in any condition). It’s important to realize here that it’s not about indifference to your health. To understand how it works, you need to analyze the whole mechanism in sequence.

A “bad” body is not worth taking care of. This is the thinking of a person who does not accept themselves. Two scenarios are illustrative here. In the first, the body is rewarded with buns and other unhealthy treats. In the second, it is tortured by deprivation, diets and grueling workouts. Both are direct roads to eating disorders.

If the body is loved, it is listened to, cared for, and fed the right amount without starving or overeating. It is provided with adequate physical activity.

Why is self abuse not the way?

How often you can hear from people who want to lose weight, phrases from the series: “Here I will lose weight and I will certainly love myself”. And this is a basic mistake. The sequence should be different: first you have to love and start to take care of yourself, and then the pounds will go down. And it’s not just about the body.

Acceptance is about rapport, the ability to hear and fulfill your needs, not just pampering. Look at your life. Look at what makes you unhappy, frustrated or angry. In what aspects of your life do you remain emotionally “hungry” where your personal needs are not being met?

If we resort to strict restrictive diets and excessive exercise, we create unnatural limitations for humans. Survival in their conditions requires an intense engagement of the will. By condemning oneself to this, instead of developing the skill of sensitivity and care, one commits another act of violence against oneself.

On a strict diet, we eat foods we don’t really want to eat. We ignore our true needs, blocking our ability to feel them. We eat strictly by the clock, not taking into account the capabilities and resources of our body.

How does all this aggravate?

In addition, strict and complicated by additional manipulations (food diaries, calorie counting) diet leads to stress and increased anxiety. Also, any prohibitions and restrictions give rise to a huge desire to break them. Add to this the feelings of guilt and shame that appear in a person after breaking a diet and overeating.

The point is that neither dieting nor sports can solve such problems as wrong eating habits, beliefs related to food and body, “eating” feelings, unsatisfied needs, non-acceptance of oneself. Therefore, the weight after the end of the diet will return.

During the diet, unresolved psychological problems behind overeating always come to the forefront, because a person is deprived of the usual way of fighting them.

Do not deal with yourself at all?

It’s important to realize that none of this cancels out healthy dieting and regular, enjoyable physical activity.

Often, clients with eating disorders simply do not know the basics of a normal healthy diet: the caloric value of certain foods; the body’s need for proteins, fats, carbohydrates and trace elements; and the time of digestion of certain foods. These points are important to know and apply. But in any case, this is only part of the way, the main work should be aimed at solving psychological problems.