Emotions and feelings: what are the differences, how to learn to manage them and come to a balance

Psychologist, systemic family therapist, Psychodemia expert and teacher

“Although the terms “feelings” and “emotions” are often used interchangeably, there is a subtle but important difference between the two. What is it? I propose to sort it out.”

The difference between human feelings and emotions

Emotions are brief, intense psychophysiological reactions to stimuli, both internal and external. They are accompanied physiologically: changes in heart rate, breathing and sweating, as well as the expression of facial expressions and body language. Emotions tend to be acute and pass quickly.

Feelings are more enduring and complex experiences based on emotions. They include cognitive evaluations, memories, and beliefs. Feelings can be more nuanced and subjective than emotions. They can last for hours, days, or even years.

Table to help distinguish feelings from emotions

It is important to note that emotions and feelings are closely interrelated. The former are like building blocks for the latter. We experience feelings when we interpret our emotions in the context of our life experiences, values and beliefs.

Emotions and feelings play a huge role in our lives. They are not just a reflection of our inner state, but a powerful tool that helps us navigate the world, interact with others, and make decisions.

• First, emotions and feelings serve as an indicator of our psychological state. Joy, sadness, anger, fear, surprise – all these emotions most often reflect our attitude to what is happening and allow us to better understand ourselves. Their external manifestations, such as facial expressions, gestures, changes in voice – these are signals that we send to others, informing them about our feelings.

• Second, emotions are our body’s signaling system. They tell us what is going on inside us and how we react to certain events. For example, feelings of fear can warn us of danger, while joy can tell us that we are on the right track. By being aware of our emotions, we can better understand the body’s needs and respond to them in a timely manner.

• Third, emotions are a communication tool. Through emotions we make contact with others, express our thoughts and feelings, and build relationships. Understanding other people’s emotions allows us to empathize with them, feel their pain and joy, and support them.

Emotions are not just fleeting experiences. They are an integral part of our lives. By understanding our own and other people’s emotions, we can become happier, more successful, and make our relationships more harmonious.

Basic human emotions

It is impossible to list all the feelings. They exist in a variety of shades. Nevertheless, it is still realistic to identify the main ones. We will get this list of feelings and emotions.

1. Joy is a pleasant emotion. It brings pleasure and happiness. When we are happy, our heart beats stronger. We smile, are active and friendly.

2. Sadness, on the other hand, means sadness and despondency. It is accompanied by tears, slowing of the heartbeat and passive behavior.

3. Anger (resentment, extreme discontent, anger) are strong feelings of irritation and hostility that manifest themselves through increased heart rate, muscle tension, and aggressive behavior.

4. Fear arises from the perception of danger. It is accompanied by palpitations and anxiety. Its behavioral manifestations may be avoidance or defensive reactions.

5. Surprise is accompanied by pupil dilation, mouth opening and curiosity, stimulating our interest in new things.

6. Indifference is characterized by apathy and lack of interest, which can lead to isolation and reduced productivity.

7. Compassion is the feeling of having another person as an object. It is manifested by a desire to help and support him or her.

8. Love, which includes tenderness, care and affection, enhances our mental and physical health and creates a sense of security. It can be felt in relation to another person as well as to a group of people, animals, one’s home, favorite activity, etc.

9. Envy and jealousy are emotions that are triggered by feelings of inferiority and annoyance. They can lead to destructive behavior and relationship destruction.

The influence of emotions on behavior and decision making

Positive emotions such as happiness, excitement and enthusiasm can motivate us to take action, take risks and create.

Negative emotions such as fear, anger, and sadness can cause us to avoid danger, defend ourselves against threats, and empathize with others.

Neutral emotions such as calm and boredom can affect our ability to concentrate, process information and make decisions.

Suppressing or ignoring emotions can have a number of negative consequences.

1. Increased stress and anxiety levels. Emotions that don’t find expression can build up, leading to physical and mental tension.
2. Complication of decision making. Emotions play an important role in this process. Ignoring them can lead to irrational or impulsive choices.
3. Problems in relationships. Suppressing emotions can negatively affect our ability to communicate and build interactions with others.
4. Physical health problems. Chronic suppression of emotions can lead to health problems. For example, heart problems, weakened immunity, and depression.

Developing Emotional Intelligence

In today’s world, where we are constantly faced with information flow, multitasking and continuous interaction with people, emotional intelligence (EQ) is an increasingly valuable skill.

EQ is the ability to understand, manage and express your emotions, as well as recognize and respond to the feelings of others.

So why is EQ so important? Being aware of personal triggers and reactions allows you to avoid impulsive actions and make better decisions. People who are not aware of their emotions will be hijacked by them in stressful situations and are unlikely to remain calm and productive.

For example, you feel irritated during an important meeting. If you are not aware of your emotions, this state will prevent you from looking at the situation objectively. If you give in to it, you’ll say things you’ll regret. If you are aware, you simply take a deep breath, analyze your trigger (such as feeling tired), and ask for a minute break to gather your thoughts.

When talking about developing emotional intelligence, you can’t avoid the topic of empathy. This is the ability to understand other people. To feel what those around you are actually feeling right now.

Emotional perception is the ability to read non-verbal cues such as body language, facial expressions and intonation. By picking up on these, you can better understand people’s intentions, even if they are not expressed in words, and avoid misunderstandings and conflicts.

Also important here is the topic of emotional perception. This is the ability to read non-verbal signals such as body language, facial expressions and intonation. Understanding these signals allows you to better understand people’s intentions, even if they are not expressed in words, and avoid misunderstandings and conflicts.

For example, you notice that a coworker is frowning, not making eye contact, or speaking in a low voice. Using your empathic perception, you conclude that he is probably upset or concerned about something. You can offer support, listen to him, or simply let him know that you are willing to help if he wants.

How do you keep your emotional balance?

In today’s world, where life is fast-paced, maintaining emotional balance is becoming a real art. Stresses, information noise, multitasking – all this tests our psyche for strength.

But there is no need to be discouraged. There are effective practices that will help you master your emotions and find inner harmony. These are self-regulation techniques and constructive ways of expressing feelings.

Examples of self-regulation practices

1. conscious breathing

Breathing practices are simple exercises that can help you quickly release tension and calm your mind.

For example, to perform “diaphragmatic breathing,” take a deep breath in through your nose, filling your belly with air. Slowly exhale through your mouth, contracting your abdominal muscles. Repeat for several minutes.

2. Meditation

Regular meditation practice teaches you to focus on the present moment, let go of anxious thoughts and find inner peace.

There are many different meditation techniques. Choose one that works for you and practice at least 10-15 minutes a day.

3. Physical activity

Exercise is a great way to relieve stress and improve your mood. Choose an activity you enjoy: running, swimming, dancing, yoga. Anything. The key is to get moving and get energized.

Constructive ways to express emotions

1. Keep a journal

Write down your thoughts and feelings, analyze situations, look for patterns. This will help you better understand yourself, understand your emotions, and find constructive ways to express them.

2- Creativity

Drawing, dancing, music, writing – any creative activity can become your “guide” to the world of emotions. Express your feelings in unusual ways, making room for new, positive experiences.

3. communicating with loved ones

Don’t be afraid to share your feelings with family and friends. The support of loved ones will help you look at the situation from a different angle, calm down and find a solution to the problem.

Remember, maintaining emotional balance is a skill that can be developed. Do not set unrealistic goals for yourself. Start small. Choose 1-2 practices that you enjoy and gradually incorporate them into your life. Over time, you will notice how you have become more aware of your emotions, learned to manage them and found inner harmony.

In the maelstrom of life we are overwhelmed by waves of emotions: joy, delight, admiration, sadness, anger, fear … Whatever these feelings are, they are an integral part of our “I”, a mirror of the soul, reflecting our attitude to the world.

Emotions are not enemies, but faithful guides. They signal what is happening to us, what we want, what we fear.

Consciously living our feelings is not blindly obeying them; it is a dance with ourselves, in the process of which we learn to understand our reactions, make conscious choices, and take care of ourselves. Allow yourself to feel! Don’t be afraid of tears, laughter, anger. Live each emotion, accept it. And then the world will shine with bright colors, and life will be filled with meaning.