World Cup 2018 for Dummies. Soccer Dictionary of Terms

Simply and humorously understand the complex soccer terms together with the resident of Comedy Club on TNT Andrei Averin.

Here began the long-awaited World Cup on soccer. I do not know a person who would not love soccer. A game that has conquered the whole world. All my friends and acquaintances adore this sport. And all of them without exception know how to play it correctly, have super skills better than Messi and are ready at any moment at the first call to replace any player on the field and lead their team to victory. But does everyone know the terms and rules of the game?

If not, this small and, of course, humorous dictionary of some soccer terms from Comedy Club will help you to understand!

Auto-Toal

A ball scored by a soccer player into his own net. Brazilian defender Pineiro is called the record holder for goals scored into his own net. Only in one of the seasons he distinguished himself with 10 auto goals. Then he was moved to offense, but in the first match he scored in his own net again. Hopefully, the Russian national team will NOT have Pineiro like this in the 2018 World Cup.

Bomber

A very efficient, high scoring player. And in one match. A woman’s dream. Able to score several times in 90 minutes.

Video review

Video review will be tested for the first time at this level of competition. A specially trained person with the help of modern technology will determine whether the ball is in the goal or not. In the past, many people didn’t like it and video review was banned. This is such a banned video!

Goalkeeper

A soccer player who stands on the defense of the goal and does not allow anyone to score. Too bad a couple of goalkeepers forgot to tell this.

Dribbling

Sounds like a procedure to drain the fat, but no. It’s a virtuoso dribbling of the ball around opposing players. You can compare it to moving from bar to table across the dance floor of a nightclub while holding 12 beers.

The draw

This is not a thoroughbred stallion competition, no. It’s pretty self-explanatory. It’s a process that determines who gets to play who. Our teams are usually lucky in the draw. Not so lucky on the field.

Vanishing spray

An aerosolized product that the referee uses to mark the spot for a penalty kick and the place to build a wall. Very similar to shaving foam. By the way, have you noticed that referees on the pitch are usually smooth-shaven?

Red card

Same as the girl saying “I’m sorry, you’re very nice, but we can’t be together anymore”. A player who receives a red card must leave the field for the rest of the match.

Cristina

This is what Portuguese soccer player Cristiano Ronaldo is called by his haters. They say that he often simulates and plays like a girl. But he doesn’t play like a girl. He has been playing like a wise and experienced woman for a long time.

Mundial

Translated from Spanish, it means “World Cup of soccer.” Although somewhere in a dormitory neighborhood of Chelyabinsk you can get a Mandanda for the word “mundial”. By the way, Mandanda is a French soccer player.

Offside

A complicated term, but if you learn it, you can boast that you know the rules. This is a position in which a player of the attacking team receives the ball, being behind the backs of all opponents, that is actually one-on-one with the goalkeeper. Did it still not become clearer? It’s normal: even referees don’t always understand what’s going on.

Time

A period (in soccer – 2 times 45 minutes each) during which men swear loudly, tell everyone around them how to play soccer, have time to drink three pints of beer and discuss the latest news. Popular phrases: “What was that”, “I would have scored”, “Where do you pass, crooked-footed”, “Who plays like that, that’s in our time …” If a man doesn’t say them, it means he’s playing soccer at that moment.

Coach

A man who does two things: teaches the players how to beat everyone, and yells loudly at them (sometimes with a mat) while standing at the edge of the field. Oh, it’s also a Danila Kozlowski movie. And the monthly salary of some coaches exceeds the entire budget of this movie.

Foul

A violation of the rules. Usually accompanied by the referee’s whistle and the fans shouting for him to open his eyes and stick that whistle… Well, you get the picture.

The barbell

It’s not a projectile that weightlifters try to lift with their eyes bulging from overexertion. It’s a side goalpost. Or a woman with very small breasts. Some goalkeepers kiss the goalposts before the match. Some goalposts sleep with goalkeepers after the match. It doesn’t affect soccer. It doesn’t affect anything.