Championship for Dummies: 10 awkward questions about the 2018 World Cup and their answers

The World Cup has come to an end, and the questions of “soccer dummies” have not become less. But even if you are not new to soccer, these 10 most popular questions and answers will help you refresh your knowledge and exclaim with pleasure at the end: “Yes, yes, I knew it all!”.

The most awkward, unusual and interesting questions are answered for you by the actor of the show “Improvisation” on TNT Dmitry Pozov.

What’s next? How long to wait until Qatar, when the World Cup will be there?

Wait usually 4 years. But this time there will be a surprise. The World Cup will be held from mid-November to mid-December 2022. It’s easy to guess that we have to wait 4.5 years. Why is that? Because it is impossible to play soccer in Qatar in the summer. Why didn’t they think of this earlier and gave it the right to host the championship? Not only Russia likes strange decisions. But it will be interesting. For the first time players will come to the tournament not at the end of the season, when they are tired, celebrated or upset, but will interrupt the soccer year to participate in the championship.

Will ours definitely go?

Alas, but not a fact. National teams go through the selection process. We take part in the European stage.

With whom will we have to fight for a trip to the World Cup in Qatar?

There are 6 national teams in the group: the first place gives a direct ticket, the second place sends us to the knockout matches with the other second place. In this simple way we did not get to the World Cup in 1998, 2006 and 2010. In 2006, we finished third. Twice we were eliminated in draws, but we got in or out in history. In 1998, the great Buffon made his debut for Italy in the match against us, in 2010 we lost to Slovenia and the whole country hated hookahs. We did not qualify for the 2018 World Cup: the hostess of the tournament gets into it automatically.

Will our team go in the same squad?

If they persuade Samedov, Ignashevich and Zhirkov, who have already finished their careers in the national team. Ignashevich was persuaded before the home championship, though he will be 43 in November 2022. The squad is formed from those who are the best at the moment. Knowing the specifics of Russian soccer, it is impossible to predict this. Golovin will be in the prime of his life, but he will probably be playing for Arsenal Tula by then. I’m pissing Golovin off on purpose so that he doesn’t repeat the path of a dozen young players from Russia, who were seen as the future and then stopped seeing themselves. Half the age group of this national team will still be able to play at the championships in 2022.

And if Smolov doesn’t score, he won’t be in the national team?

If everyone who hasn’t scored for someone would not be called to the Russian national team, then there would be 5 players. If he plays well, he will be called up. If they play badly, they will not be called. There were times when someone who played well was not called, and someone who played badly was called. Everything is decided by the coach.

Where else can you cheer for our national team?

Europe is lucky. We do not have to wait for 4 years to cheer for the national team and devote the summer to soccer. In 2 years there will be the European Championship, which also takes place every 4 years. It turns out we only have to wait for 2. For the first time the tournament will be held not in one country, but in all of them at once. So stock up on all possible visas, a million dollars, say a mental thank you to the UEFA management, which came up with such a trick, and go to cheer. Or stay at home. They’ll show it on TV.

Where will the Mundial Cup be kept?

The trophy is awarded after the final and then taken away. The team is given another cup, and the real one is taken to the FIFA Museum in Switzerland. Only heads of state, the FIFA president and the players of the team that won it can touch it without gloves. At the award ceremony in Moscow, there was a moment when the trophy was touched and kissed by the presidents of France and Croatia, and the president of the Croatian Football Federation, Davor Shuker, a former soccer player, was standing next to him. The trophy was being carried past him and at one point it even appeared that the FIFA president offered to touch it, but Šuker did not. He is not a world champion. Perhaps the FIFA president was just testing Shuker’s knowledge of the rules or teasing him, because Croatia is not a world champion again.

What’s in store for the French national team?

France will have a second star above the emblem. It will mean 2 world titles. France’s emblem is still far from Germany and Italy, who have 4 stars each, but now France will be able to laugh at Spain, who have only one star. In matches with the French, the Spanish will look at the second star and remember that the French got it at the World Cup in Russia, where Spain lost to the host of the tournament. England have one star, too. But that was a long time ago. And the Germans will tell you it was a long time ago and unfair.

What will happen to our stadiums?

The most painful topic. We have the Russian Football Championship and it would be logical to assume that clubs from the cities that have stadiums will play in them. But the trick is that teams from Kaliningrad, Volgograd, Nizhny Novgorod and Saransk do not even play in the Premier League, but in the second strongest division. It will be difficult for them to gather 40,000 fans for matches with Voronezh’s Fakel, and even more difficult for them to pay stadium rent. Rostov plays in the Premier League, but rumors are already circulating that it can’t afford to rent a new arena, which is 30 times more expensive than the old one. Sochi went further and moved the team from St. Petersburg to play in the same, second strongest division. In Kazan, the stadium will be used by Rubin, whose matches are attended by 10-15 thousand people. The stadiums in Moscow and St. Petersburg before the tournament were at the disposal of Spartak and Zenit, everything is fine there, full houses. In Ekaterinburg they did a trick and built a stadium, which will be easily reduced after the championship to make it easier for local Ural to fill it. Qatar has come up with an even better trick. Several stadiums after the tournament will be neatly stacked just like in the movie. But it will not surprise us. In Volgograd and Nizhny Novgorod we did the same thing. True, the embankment folded. And not by itself, but from the rain. But still.

What to do with a fan passport, and why do I need it?

The fan passport allowed us to get into the stadium, and foreigners – to come to Russia without visas. This opportunity was extended for six months. Why do we need a fan passport now? To remember the incredible celebration that took place in our country. Years later, you can pull it out, see what you looked like in the photo that year, and remember those happy days.

I allowed myself a couple of ironic remarks just to bring myself and you back to everyday reality and to remind you that life goes on. The Russian national team will have to prove anew that it is capable of doing something, the stadiums and landscaping will have to be monitored, but we can safely say that the World Cup in Russia was a success. Both from a soccer and organizational point of view, it was one of the best. We all became part of this incredible event. I am not sure that there is anything close to it in terms of scale and emotion, but we need to hold something like this more often.