How to stop torturing yourself with diets and finally truly love yourself? Tips from a psychologist

One of the most toxic attitudes of many women is the phrase, “I’m not good enough.” Essentially, it’s about the belief, “I’m not worthy of being loved.” These are synonymous attitudes.

psychologist

“Some women ruthlessly criticize themselves, believing that they do not have the right to happiness with the available external data, but after all, the true roots of the problem should be sought not at all in the lack of model parameters … The matter is in deeper things. Where do such attitudes come from and how to finally love yourself?”.

Where does self-love come from?

The causes of female insecurity can be various factors: betrayal of a loved one, negative experiences in relationships, labeling by society.

However, the main point is, of course, the behavior of parents. Most toxic and traumatizing attitudes are laid down in childhood. It is the parents who explain simple things to the child, give answers to a lot of questions, including such a question as, “Am I good or bad?”

If a girl is subjected to criticism, not necessarily relating directly to appearance, then in her head is formed a certain vision of herself. When mom and dad for various reasons do not give her the right amount of attention and care, she may grow up with a clear conviction: “Since I am not worthy of parental love, I should not expect it from others.”

Thus, the attitude “I am not worthy of anything” is a problem of lack of love for oneself, devaluation of one’s own importance, one’s abilities and, of course, appearance. Especially if the girl often heard from her mother criticism of this nature. She grows up, becomes a woman, but complexes and toxic attitudes do not go anywhere.

How to love yourself?

It is easy to say: “Just love yourself, and everything will fall into place.” But how do you do it? In most cases, a phrase like “I am the most charming and attractive” is not enough to look at yourself with different eyes. How to get rid of the attitude: “I am not worthy of love and happiness?”

First, recognize the problem, because when we do not see certain negative factors, it is impossible to work through them.

Now make a promise to yourself that you will stop comparing your own appearance with the ideals that are in your head. Realize that you are unique.

Next, it will be helpful to pay attention to the following recommendations.

1. Take care of your body

Learn to love your body. Cherish it, nurture it, pamper it with care. You can organize yourself beauty days. Let them be devoted exclusively to taking care of your body. A trip to the spa, a massage, complete relaxation. All this can be spent alone with yourself or in the company of girlfriends.

By taking care of your body, over time you will love it, because you will be emotionally involved.

2. Keep yourself in shape

If you’re concerned about any imperfections that could be changed (e.g., getting slimmer, strengthening muscles), start working on yourself. Dancing, hiking, yoga, Pilates – choose any available way to get the body of your dreams.

Along with movement and striving for something better, you will gain the confidence you lacked, meet like-minded people along the way, and surely realize that you have always been beautiful and worthy of happiness. You will come to realize that most of our problems are only in our heads.

It is important that there are no grueling diets and exhausting sports. Everything should be done gently. Because it is better for your body, not because slimness is a trend. By the way, with this approach, you will lose weight much faster.

3. change your style

Since “you meet people by their clothes”, you should think about and change your style: hair, makeup and, perhaps, the usual outfit. Often a successful new image gives us confidence and allows us to feel psychologically more comfortable. Don’t be afraid to experiment and try on different looks.

4. curb your imagination

A handsome man in the nearest cafeteria never came to meet you? A passerby on the street stepped on your foot and insulted you? Remember, such trifles of life have nothing to do with you. The fact that the situation did not turn out the way we personally would like, affects a lot of reasons.

The handsome man in the cafe may be married. A stranger on the street turned out to be just a bad mood. Do not fantasize and invent reasons to remind yourself once again that you are not worthy of love. Such assumptions are devoid of logic and have no practical confirmation.

Every time you have negative thoughts, write them down in a special notebook. After a week, open it – and you will be surprised how often you think about yourself in a negative way. Now move on to the next point.

5. Write down compliments

Start a notebook for compliments. You will need to write down not only the feedback you receive from others, but also your own assessments of your personal strengths. Give yourself three compliments each day and record them on paper.

For example: “Got a stylish makeover,” “Got a fancy dress,” “Was able to lose two pounds in just one week,” and so on. When you feel sad, make sure you look in your positive notebook to cheer yourself up.

Lastly, people see us for who we think we are. If you smile at an attractive and confident woman who clearly deserves love, care and attention, don’t doubt that people around you see the same picture. Learn to genuinely enjoy your reflection, and the problem that you are not worthy of something will definitely go away.