How to learn to keep promises to yourself

There comes a time in everyone’s life when difficult decisions have to be made. It is very easy to make a promise to yourself, but it is very difficult to keep it. How do you learn to do it? Let’s find out with an expert psychologist.

Practical psychologist, field therapist

Many people promise themselves that, for example, they will achieve something. But they do not want it in order to get what they want, but to prove something to themselves. For example, in a fit of anger and resentment to say to themselves, “I can do it!”. And then, when feelings recede, it’s as if you don’t even want it.

What is a promise?

Words cannot be touched, they are intangible. Many people treat words irresponsibly, do not value them, and then easily fail to keep promises.

To make a promise is to make a commitment to do or not to do something, either to yourself or to another person.

Often an unfulfilled promise becomes a cause of distrust and self-oppression. To prevent this from happening, don’t give your word on emotion or when you are not sure you can keep it.

Hope: Very often we do not keep the word we give to ourselves, because the promise has nothing to do with our real desires. Often we want to prove something to someone or make amends. We make promises under the pressure of society, situation, emotions, rather than being guided by our feelings, desires, values and priorities.

Hope: When a person makes a promise under the pressure of parents, bosses, other people, he does not keep it because it has nothing to do with his true desires, it violates his needs. It often happens that we make a promise to ourselves in times of emotional instability, and then we can’t keep it. This is due to the time and state in which the situation occurred.

Try to praise and reward yourself. It is usually a very long way to reach a desired outcome or goal. To motivate yourself to keep going, reward yourself for small successes. Slowly but surely you will come to your goal.

Break down a large-scale goal into milestones. Small tasks look much easier and more achievable than one big daunting goal. When we accomplish what we’ve planned, going one step up, each next one gradually leads to the goal.

Ask for support from loved ones. It’s important to be in control and give accountability for your actions. Tell your loved ones about your successes, share your desires, so you will receive praise, faith in yourself and motivation to go further.

You don’t have to beat yourself up for not accomplishing something. We all make promises to ourselves, the main thing is to understand that it is you who needs it, you are aware of your goal and are ready to go to it, and you did not give your word reluctantly under pressure.