4 stupid reasons not to take care of yourself. You’ll have to get rid of them

Everyone knows the simplest rules of self-care: healthy diet, sleep, physical activity, skin cleansing and protection from sunlight.

Gone are the days when paying attention to your appearance, clothes and makeup was considered a sign of frivolity. Looking well-groomed is an important part of success. Your appearance shows that you know how to manage your time and have time for everything: work, family, exercise and skin care. The first step in self-care, as with everything, is the most painful and difficult. But why is it sometimes so hard to take care of yourself?

Psychologist, founder of Integral Space Academy, Mindfulness teacher

We have a certain culture that from childhood, not that we don’t learn, but rather, on the contrary, teaches us not to listen to ourselves, to our feelings, to our emotions, desires and needs. Over time, this habit of distancing oneself from one’s body, from one’s desires and feelings develops on this foundation.

Why we don’t always make time for ourselves

There are several reasons that keep you from taking care of yourself:

Laziness. Yes, this is probably the most common reason why all self-care and body care rituals fall apart. “I don’t have time or money!” – is the most common excuse for not taking care of yourself, but these are only reasons and excuses. In fact, once you make a meal plan, you’ll stick to it for years to come, an intimidating evening skin care ritual will only take you five to seven minutes, and you can keep your body toned with 20-30 minutes of daily exercise.

Tatiana: Every day we’re surrounded by an environment where it’s very easy to get a quick dopamine, and self-care is about delayed gratification. There are easy endeavors that you can get more pleasure from right now. This may be one of the factors why a person in the moment may be somehow conditioned to “score” on themselves.

You haven’t been taught that. But the issue here isn’t just that you weren’t taught how to eat right, it’s more global – you weren’t taught how to take care of yourself. It is the influence of parents that lays down our careful or, on the contrary, neglectful attitude to ourselves. Our self-perception is formed at an early age on the basis of words, actions and attitudes of adults. If these experiences were positive, a healthy sense of our body emerges. Otherwise, we begin to express self-loathing at a conscious age in various ways: we eat poorly, refuse to take care of ourselves, and often forget to take care of ourselves. And many feel guilty about showing self-care at all.

“Not for anyone.” Most girls have a stereotype that you need to be beautiful for strangers. After all, what will colleagues think when you come to the office with a dirty head. That’s the thing at home. You can walk around in your pajamas all day long. However, you need to realize that self-care is for yourself.

Some of us find it easier to take care of others than to take care of ourselves. Most often this kind of self-denial is copied from a mother or grandmother. But think about it, because it will be passed on to your children. That’s why it’s important to learn to recognize and meet your own needs, not the opinions of others.

“I’m going to get old anyway.” Both women and men have a midlife crisis. This is when we all start to feel older. And it can feel like youth is slipping away, which means you can forget about yourself. The first wrinkles are still nowhere to disappear, and the fading body is no longer able to regain its former elasticity. Such pessimism inexorably destroys femininity and lowers self-esteem. Pay attention to how sometimes attracted to look well-groomed adults. After all, it is not a matter of age, but in love with yourself.

Sometimes the body, which lacks care and care, can give signs. Anxiety is one of them.

Tatiana: Lack of motivation is about the fact that a person has not deeply felt why he or she should do it. There is not some fundamental deep bodily understanding. There is no realization that stretching, washing or, for example, proper nutrition will be beneficial and will help to avoid something negative.

How do you start taking care of yourself?

Start with small steps and simple habits that won’t take much time, but will definitely make you treat yourself with care. Gradually all these rituals will become a habit and your life will change:

• set clear goals: lose a specific number of pounds, give up sugar, cleanse your skin before bed or go to bed at the same time;
• stop treating your daily routine as a chore. Learn to enjoy doing the usual things: washing your face, removing makeup, applying cream. You’ll definitely get the hang of it;
• Create a home care schedule. Start with 15 minutes of exercise in the morning or spread your rituals out over the week: face on Monday, hands on Tuesday, body on Wednesday, and so on;
• choose the type of activity and care you want to do, not because it’s trendy or profitable. The only true way to take care of yourself is to listen to what your body wants;
• thank yourself as if you were thanking a friend who took care of you. Give yourself gifts and just praise yourself. It’s very important.

Tatiana: There are more difficult cases. When we realize that there is something that is good for us, but we don’t do it. This happens unconsciously. When there are a lot of conflicts and adaptation mechanisms going on inside a person, they already tend to start destroying themselves.

This happens in order not to feel pain and to get rid of it as soon as possible. Someone chooses difficult relationships with people or enters into conflicts, someone constantly does sports more than the body can withstand, someone constantly overeats. If a person is constantly testing himself, then simple advice about washing can hardly help. In this case, it is better to consult a specialist and work with internal problems.