Does biceps matter? A psychologist described the criteria by which a woman chooses a man

analytical psychologist, psychosomatotherapist, coach

There are quite a few theories about how the fair sex choose a partner. The best minds have conducted many surveys and collected statistics, conducted experiments and made comparative analysis. But is everything so simple and you can “calculate” a woman’s heart? Let’s look into the nuances.

A banal coincidence, a completely random meeting. Usually this is how we think about a new acquaintance. It seems to us that this is just a chain of coincidences. However, each person has a set of criteria that he or she may not even realize. Meanwhile, it is these criteria that largely determined the “coincidence of circumstances”. These criteria dictate the choice.

At the first meeting we do not know anything about the character of a person, so we pay special attention to the appearance. We are also guided by our instincts. Facial features, facial expressions, voice and what associations it all evokes – these are the main beacons at the initial stage. What are the mechanisms at work here?

Projection of the father

The simplest theory is the choice of someone who resembles a significant man with whom the period of early childhood is associated. Most often it is about the father.

It is the observation of the tandem of parents that invests us with a basic model of male-female interaction. Also, if there was understanding (warmth, trust) between the daughter and the father, it will be a guarantee of normal relations in the future. Subconsciously, the girl will start looking for a partner similar to her father in order to continue to feel protected (as in childhood).

Sigmund Freud wrote that we meet only those people who are already in our unconscious.

Ideal image

The second option is a man whom a woman has mapped out based on different criteria (internal and external). Then Christian Grey bursts into the arena – a pumped-up brunette with a multi-million dollar account – and takes her off into the sunset in his expensive car.

You have to realize that this image will be different for every girl. Brunette, blond or redhead with freckles. Figure, hairstyle, shape of nails and addiction to hygiene. The list is huge and varied. Of course, there are basic perceptions. Trends, so to speak. They can change. For example, now one of the trends is slender men with pronounced cheekbones and thick hair. Brad Pitt, Timothee Chalamet and others.

The trick is that even if there is a fashion for a certain type, not all women will be attracted to it. Someone will still continue to dream about the owners of powerful biceps (like Dwayne Johnson), and some will still like gray-haired aristocrats (Sean Connery).

Looks are important, but common perceptions may not work here. And that’s not all the complexities to be aware of.

Opposites attract

We unconsciously look for a partner who is the complete opposite of us. So it becomes possible to compensate for the lack of any quality in ourselves. A man is expected to make up for what we ourselves are unable to do. He realizes the dreams and hidden desires suspended in the air.

These can be the most unexpected things. For example, there are couples where she is a successful businesswoman and a desperate party girl, and he is a homebody who loves to cook. Someone may condemn this arrangement, but it is for their couple that harmony lies in it.

Just comfortable

It often happens that a woman simply does not know the answer to the question, “What is he, my man?”. She is so busy with studies, career and endless self-development, that she simply does not get to the criteria.

Good physical shape or bad, high height or not so high, weight indicators and the level of earnings – all this goes to the background. The only thing that matters is comfort and mutual respect. Maintaining personal boundaries and freedom of action is key.

So what does a woman want?

Depending on our needs, age, experience, we choose according to different criteria. It depends on many parameters and their combinations. From all this, we can deduce only one secret ingredient – love. A woman will always give the banner of victory to a caring and faithful man. Someone who hears and understands her.