What do you need to know before going to a counselor?

The decision to go to a psychologist is not easy for many people. It seems that therapy requires special efforts, complex preparation, including moral preparation. And in general, it is not an easy task to gather one’s courage and face one’s problems face to face. Together with psychologist Nadezhda Pozharova we tell you what you need to know before going to a specialist, and how to dispel your fears.

It is not necessary to be ready “one hundred percent”

The first thing you need to remind yourself of is that you don’t have to make a decision once and for all and be absolutely ready for a series of sessions. Many people, when thinking about making an appointment with a psychologist, worry that they need to form a super specific request or know exactly what problem they want to deal with. They also worry that they won’t have time to tell anything in one session.

Working with a psychologist involves a process, and you need to give yourself permission to at least try. Or give a second chance, if the first attempt did not make the most favorable impression. Often people do not go to a specialist, because it seems to them that he is one for life. But all psychologists are different, each has his own unique approach, so you can and should work with several until you find the most suitable for you. At the same time, it is important to allow the possibility that you may want to stay with the first one, it is important not to exclude it and not to set yourself up for a long search.

There is no need to fully open up in the first session

The next thing that’s important to know is that you don’t have to open up from the first meeting. It is often said that from the very beginning, the psychologist will “climb into the soul”. No one will go farther than you would be comfortable, no specialist needs this. His job is not to rake up wounds, but to help. When you come in for a session, say what you want to say.

Of course, the psychologist can ask questions about childhood, about parents, about experience – ask a lot of things. But he needs to do this not out of curiosity, but because behavioral patterns, schemes, compensations – all of them were formed under the influence of certain events. And the psychologist can ask questions to understand and help. You can see more about what professionals usually ask in the video.

It’s also not necessarily necessary to share your experiences in great detail. If you don’t feel comfortable or ready to share your innermost feelings yet, there’s nothing wrong with that. Trust comes with time.

Exercise is not always necessary

Another one of the common myths is that talking doesn’t help.

Hope: “We with the psychologist only talked, did not do any exercises,” some people worry. In fact, exercises and other methods of adjustment are used at the discretion of the psychologist. It is a misconception to think that only exercises help. Often they are not necessary on the contrary: they take away from the essence.

The main thing in therapy is that you feel safe. And what methods the psychologist uses, what he does for this – it is his responsibility. Your main task is to feel whether you feel comfortable with this person or not, whether you want to work with him.

Many people imagine the work of a psychologist stereotypically, as in the movies: you lie on a couch, and on a chair next to you – a strict doctor with a tablet and a pen and necessarily in glasses. In fact, only psychoanalysts have a couch, and for some people online counseling will be effective. There are many different directions of psychotherapy: Gestalt therapy, psychoanalysis, body-oriented and others.

It is important not to limit yourself and not to fixate on a particular type. Try different ones, feel which one is closer to you. Choose not with your head, trying to match your feelings to the desired direction, but with your soul.