Why both are not always to blame in a conflict and how to understand who is to blame

Why both are not always to blame in a conflict and how to understand who is at fault

Before looking for your mistake, analyze the interlocutor.

Any relationship, whatever it may be, is possible only with the participation of all parties. According to this logic, problems and conflicts are also the result of mistakes of both partners. Together with the expert we tell you why this is not quite so and what to do about it.

PhD in Psychology, developer of the theory of adaptive intelligence, branding expert

We often hear the phrase that both are always to blame in a conflict. But the truth is that one is really more to blame than the other.

Why conflicts arise and who is to blame

Conflict doesn’t just appear. It is always a tool to achieve a goal, such as proving a point, getting to the truth, or protecting one’s personal boundaries. But how this conflict is resolved depends on both parties.

There is such a notion – a conflict way of thinking. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people with this way of thinking, and the matter is aggravated in stressful situations. If we examine under a magnifying glass how a conflict with such people develops, we will find that one of the opponents uses the most imaginative formulations and overdramatizes the situation, which in fact could have been described less destructively.

Also, this party often uses “heavy” terms and arguments, exacerbating the conflict even more. If this is the person in front of you, the conflict is not your fault.

More about how to respond to a rude person, we wrote in our article.

How to behave during such a conversation

Sometimes the best thing to do in this situation is to get up and leave. This will give time to calm down, prevent the fire. You can try to turn the dialog in another direction, change the topic. But even leaving the dialog does not get rid of the need to solve the problem. If the conflict happened, it is better to allocate energy and time to resolve it.

You can say anything you want, the main thing is to avoid shouting. Yes, it happens, sometimes the truth can be born in a dispute, but, as a rule, it is born there with such labor, in such agony that any humane person can only pity it.

Why torture the truth and the disputants when there are much more favorable conditions for the truth to be born – a benevolent and constructive discussion. But this is not a dispute!

Even if you are a conflict-free person, you can still become a disputant. Therefore, in order to preserve your inner balance and not let your energy be wasted in vain, you need to learn how to prevent the storm in its infancy.

In this will help different techniques of communication, mastering which, you can manage any conflict. We wrote earlier about where to direct aggression and how to cope with it.