How to get rid of self-injury? 5 tips from a psychologist

Often, making even the smallest mistake, we begin to engage in self-blame. But it is not useful. Only adequate evaluation of actions helps to develop and improve, improve contacts with others, become more conscious and successful. But to achieve this is sometimes very difficult. What can be the consequences of self-meditation and how to fight it?

psychologist

Self-criticism and self-beating are not the same thing.

What is the reason for self-injury?

Behind any action is a positive intention. When we criticize ourselves for something, we want to protect ourselves from “punishment” and criticism from others. This is how we try to learn new things and become better, so that people around us will notice our progress and give a positive assessment of our actions.

Most often unconstructive self-criticism follows those who in childhood were regularly told off by parents and other close people. We get used to certain standards, and any action that goes beyond the usual, is perceived by the psyche as something impermissible and shameful. Protecting ourselves from the expected assessment from the outside, we develop a certain pattern of behavior, trying to behave “normally”, and for any deviation from the pattern we scold ourselves.

Such behavior leads to self-destruction of personality: we stop loving ourselves, accepting our body and character traits. The fear of judgment is so frightening that the only way out seems to be self-beating and regular violence against themselves.

Self-eating is always a vicious circle, we can not think rationally when it is really necessary. After all, it is very difficult to find a way out of a situation when thoughts revolve around an invented problem.

A self-critical person can easily become a victim of manipulation. This will lead to physical, energetic and psychological exhaustion, as well as turn others against you. Self-love cannot be based on self-abuse.

Self-blaming is the process of unconsciously (or consciously) blaming yourself for something. And if the goal of self-criticism is growth, the goal of self-bashing is punishment.

An important nuance: a self-critical person realizes the limits of his or her own abilities and does not take on someone else’s responsibility. At the same time, a person who engages in self-abuse and self-criticism does not feel the limits of his influence, he has developed pride. Most often this is a defense mechanism, which he tries to compensate for complexes and insecurity.

How to get rid of self-beating?

Write down your own achievements

To stop torturing yourself, try to make a daily list of achievements. So learn to feel proud and think more positively. Even small steps on the way to a big goal can become an occasion.

Be kinder

When you start to berate yourself, try to say these complaints out loud. The wording you would choose when talking to friends or family will be more effective.

Refuse to compare yourself with others

At any stage of your business development, there will be someone more experienced and successful. Continuing to compare yourself to others will not move you forward or achieve the results you want.

Accept that you are imperfect, in fact, like all people.

Consider mistakes from the point of view of self-development

Self-improvement is a lifelong endeavor. All along the way you will face problems and make mistakes. Only it is worth it to perceive all the troubles not as a regression, but as new opportunities.

Patience is your best friend

It is quite difficult to change the way of thinking to a positive one. To stop criticizing yourself, you need to develop new habits.

The main thing on this path is not to agonize and accept that change for the better takes time.