What is tactile hunger and how to overcome it? 8 recommendations from a psychotherapist

psychotherapist, clinical psychologist

“Tactile hunger manifests itself in the need to feel touch, contact with different surfaces and textures. The goal is to satisfy the sensory areas of the body. This is important because our brains need these sensations for normal physiological and psychological development. Their absence leads to irritation, stress, and sometimes problems in communicating with others. The need for physical contact plays a major role in mental well-being.”

What we’ll talk about

What is tactile hunger?

This phenomenon has several names: skin or tactile hunger, tactile need and touch hunger.

The term was first formulated by American psychologist Harry Harlow. The specialist derived it after a series of studies on monkeys, which he conducted in the 1950s. He studied the influence of maternal care and physical contact on the development of offspring. The expert concluded that the importance of warmth in early childhood contributes to the normal development of personality and emotional well-being.

Tactile hunger is the human biological need for touch. It is a thirst for sensations that can morally fill, give confidence, attention and care.

It is important to note that the norm of touch is different for everyone. Some need it on a regular basis, while others need it from time to time.

What is the importance of touch?

Humans are social creatures. Evolutionarily, it was only in a group that the chances of survival increased. Unconsciously, touching means we are not alone. The result is a sense of security.

There are sensors under the skin. They send signals to the vagus nerve, which connects the brain to the rest of the organs. By increasing its tone, the nervous system slows down. This is very useful. As a result, a person relaxes, smiles more often and is less tense. He feels happier.

This is due to the stimulation of antidepressant hormones. Touching triggers the production of oxytocin, which leads to feelings of trust and affection. Cortisol (stress hormone) levels are also reduced. People with a satisfied tactile need have a lower heart rate and lower blood pressure.

All this has a positive effect on psychological and physical health.

Causes of tactile hunger

Psychological causes of tactile need:

1. Lack of warmth in physical contact with other people.
2. A feeling of loneliness.
3. Isolation from society.
4. Lack of attention, affection and care in childhood.
5. Stress.
6. Distrust of others.
7. Negative attitude towards your body.
8. Unpleasant or painful sensations on the skin.

Physiologic causes of occurrence:

1. Lack of physical stimulation of the dermis.
2. Unpleasant or painful sensations on the skin.

This can lead to apathy, depression, anxiety, and mental health disorders.

Consequences of tactile hunger

Consequences due to lack of tactile displays seriously affect a person’s emotional state. Hugging, feeling touched, holding a hand in a hand are not only pleasant touches, but also a way of expressing love, significance, care and support.

If a person does not receive enough contact, they may develop a complex of negative emotions and feelings. We are talking about loneliness, fear, anxiety. There is a risk of transition into a severe form of depression. It also leads to a deterioration of self-esteem and self-confidence. Moreover, conflicts with the environment develop because of increased irritability and internal worries.

Lack of tactile sensations leads to changes in behavior. This hinders the development of healthy relationships with people, strengthening the bond between parents and children, sometimes in friendships and close relationships. The resulting sense of isolation from others leads to further problems in relationships with the social environment.

In communication with children, this deficit can lead to a breakdown in the warmth of the parent-child bond. Lack of physical contact alienates people, leads to mistrust and sometimes to the breakdown of relationships. The touch of mom and dad is associated with a sense of security, importance and need. This need should not be ignored.

Physical contact between a man and a woman also plays an important role and strengthens the relationship. It is read as a manifestation of love and care for each other. Lack of tactility forms distance between partners, distrust and lack of spiritual and sexual intimacy.

Paying attention to touch in relationships with children and partners is important. Why? To preserve the kinship bond, to strengthen interaction.

Who faces tactile hunger most often?

In fact, there are many different types of people who experience tactile hunger. However, there are some groups who are more likely to feel hunger for touch than others.

Children. The full development of a child largely depends on physical contact with parents. To a greater extent – with mom. Deficiency of affection and warmth leads to psychological problems. By the way, children with autism experience a more pronounced lack of touch.

Older people. This applies mainly to those who stay in nursing homes. But also to those who live with relatives. Why? As they age, they have limited social contacts.

Single people. If a person doesn’t have a steady partner, they are more prone to tactile hunger than others.

People with depression or anxiety disorders. In this situation, there is a deterioration of the emotional state. Because of which the need for touch becomes more acute.

People in isolation. This category includes not only those who are forced to be isolated (have physical limitations), but also those who work remotely and relocants.

How to overcome tactile hunger?

Strategies to overcome tactile hunger can reduce the unpleasant feeling and alleviate its impact on the mental state. It is worth noting that it is possible to close this need even if you do not have a partner or close friends.

1. It is important to focus on yourself and understand your emotions, feelings and sensations. You need to know what exactly causes tactile hunger. For example, loneliness, existing stress or boredom. Having identified the causes, it is possible to find effective ways to eliminate them. To do this, it is necessary to consult a psychotherapist.
2. Shift attention to new activities or hobbies. This will noticeably reduce its impact on the emotional state.
3. Take part in social projects, sports or dance events, meditate, exercise. Also, just cuddle with your loved ones.
4. Self-regulation will perfectly replace the lack of tactile touch. For example, water procedures, massage, going to the hairdresser or manicure.
5. Greet people more often with handshakes, pats or hugs.
6. Socialize with pets. In particular, cuddle with them more often and pet them.
7. Walk a lot. There are receptors on the feet that compensate for the lack of touch. You can roll a tennis ball with your feet. It will have the same effect.
8. Surround yourself with a variety of materials. What would that be? A soft plaid, plush toys, a voluminous warm or weighted blanket.

Don’t be afraid to talk about your need to your partner. It can be not only cuddling, but also watching a movie together on the couch next to you or dancing.

Be observant, open and honest with yourself about your feelings and needs. It’s important to find ways to satisfy desired physical contact and socialization with others. Be mindful of your physical and emotional well-being.