Anxiety and worry are historically understandable and are simply necessary to remain alert in potentially dangerous situations. Unfortunately, bad thoughts are often born out of nothing and prevent us from living the good moments of life in peace. How to cope with them and learn to keep a positive attitude? We understand together with psychologists.
How to stop thinking about bad things?
psychológ, mentor
“The belief that the coming events will be so terrible that you will not be able to survive them, can spoil life. You need to know how to deal with catastrophizing. How do you do it?”.
1. Shift your focus of attention
It needs to shift from the fear to what we want to get. For example, if your mind is spinning with thoughts that something will happen to your child when he walks home from school alone, think about why you let him walk home alone? Apparently, so that he can become an independent adult. It’s important to focus on the fact that your child has grown so much and how much he can already do.
2. Stir up your fear as much as possible
We need to realize what we are actually afraid of and maximize it. For example, if there is a fear that we will make a mistake and we will be fired from work, it is worth thinking – what is actually the most terrible thing about it?
For example, let’s take the fear: “I will be left without a livelihood”. We’ve recognized it. Now we start asking ourselves the question, “What’s so scary about that?” You won’t get another job. So what? You won’t be able to pay your rent. What’s the harm in that? You’re gonna get kicked out on the street. And then what? You’ll be homeless, living under a bridge in a TV box and socializing with the same people. All your relatives and friends will turn their backs on you, and you will stay under that bridge until the very end.
This is usually when logic kicks in and starts making adjustments. She says, “Why bum right away? Can’t you even get a job as a waiter? The maximum that can happen is that you’ll get the same job with a slightly lower salary.” As soon as you say this, the fears will recede and you can act calmly.
3- Change the wording
Replace the word “problem” with the word “challenge.” This way your brain will stop feeling sorry for itself and start looking for solutions. Agree, it sounds different: “I have a problem – I can not find a job” and “I have a task to find a new job”.
Of course, fear is not the same as fear. There are superficial ones that can be easily solved by the methods we listed above. And there are deep fears based on subconscious traumas. For example, in childhood something terrible happened to a person. He may not remember about this situation, but every time he will make a decision, in the subconscious mind will pop up this constraining fear and the expectation that something terrible will happen.
So if you can’t switch to good in the first three ways, there is probably something underlying. Which means you need to figure out what subconscious fear is surfacing and in what situation you first experienced that fear.
But even if it’s really bad, you’ll probably get over it. Just think back to the worst moments in your life. No matter what, you survived them.
So how do you stop being sad and learn to enjoy life in the background? Usually a person who can do that is called an optimist. And pessimist he is made, as you have already guessed, habits of immersing himself in his thoughts about bad things and seeing the world around him in gloomy colors.
How to become an optimist in life?
analytický psychológ, psychosomatoterapeut, kouč
“Optimism is a positive attitude and confidence in positive outcomes, even in difficult and uncertain situations. With this mindset, we are able to see the bright side of life and find joy, hope and possibilities in it. How to become an optimist? Let’s try to understand this question and sketch out a working instruction”.
Optimism is a skill that can be developed and applied in everyday life. People who possess it believe in their abilities and are convinced that they can successfully cope with problems. They tend to focus on the positive aspects of different situations, learn from them and see favorable prospects.
In changing circumstances, optimists, instead of dwelling on the negative, look for opportunities to adapt to new circumstances. All of this is associated with positive emotions, improved self-esteem and reduced anxiety levels.
10 tips to become an optimist
1. Revise the way you view the world. Focus on the positive aspects of situations and shift your attention from the negative to the positive. Notice and appreciate the beautiful things around you! For example, a cup of delicious coffee in the morning and beautifully falling light outside can lift your mood. The key is to notice it.
2- Discard bad thoughts. Avoid the cycle of negative reasoning and refocus on problem solving. Try saying “I’ll try” instead of “I can’t”! Notice negative and pessimistic thoughts and try to change them to positive and constructive ones.
“Everything will go wrong,” you think. Now carry out the substitution. “I can handle it” or “I have the resources to solve the problem” – this is what positive language sounds like.
3. Practice gratitude. Take time each day to consciously recognize the benefits that are present in your life. This will immediately change your inner state and create a more positive mood! Thank your significant other for a delicious dinner or simply for watching your favorite show together.
4. Develop optimistic language. Use positive words and phrases in your speech. Both towards yourself and others. Language affects the way we think! Compliment a passerby or a fellow traveler in transportation. This little thing will raise a person’s mood, you will smile, and you – in return. This way you will be able to start a flow of good mood.
5. Set goals. Let them be realistic. Work on achieving them. When you see progress in your life, it increases the level of optimism. Make a list of your goals and check off the completed ones. This will keep track of your accomplishments.
6. Get plenty of rest and take care of yourself. Get regular exercise or any physical activity. Get enough sleep and eat right. Taking care of yourself improves your mood and optimism.
7. Socialize with positive people. Surround yourself with those who inspire you and keep you in a positive frame of mind. Good company affects your outlook.
8. Learn from your failures. Failures are opportunities to learn and grow. Look at them as a chance to get better and find new opportunities. You can always pick apart a mistake and capitalize on it. What experiences have you had?
9. Live in the present moment. Focus on current positive events and enjoy them. Be in the present and savor every moment. Life is in every second, catch the moment.
10. Smile and do good. Smiling is an easy way to cheer yourself and others up. Good deeds bring joy not only to others, but also to yourself. Do an experiment: smile at people and watch their reaction during the day. The result will surprise you!
It is important to realize that optimism does not mean denying reality or ignoring problems. This mindset allows us to see opportunities for growth and development even in difficult situations, and also supports emotional well-being. By following these tips, you will gradually develop your optimism and begin to see the positive in everything.
Remember that optimism is a habit that needs to be maintained and practiced every day. Do not be afraid of possible failures. Go forward and live with joy and hope.