How you shouldn’t talk to your loved ones now: 5 phrases you shouldn’t use

How to choose words so as not to offend? Today, many people ask themselves this question, trying to remain neutral and correct. We understand that now it is not easy at all, so together with a psychologist we have prepared instructions for you: how to conduct a dialog with loved ones, so as not to quarrel.

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A conversation with a loved one on a triggering topic is very therapeutic in itself.

What phrases are better not to use?

1. “Give up worrying – nothing depends on us anyway!”

Veronika: This position is passive and destructive, because it makes a person a victim of circumstances, without the right to make decisions and actions. Meanwhile, the awareness of responsibility for one’s own condition, way of thinking and behavior directs one’s energy in the right direction. A person chooses whether he or she will boor those who disagree with his or her personal point of view or maintain his or her position with dignity. We each have our own reasons for believing what is right and wrong.

Truth is always subjective, and everyone has their own. Now it is important to keep your psycho-emotional state, nervous system in stability and poise.

2. “You are annoying me with your panic!”

This reaction is the result of denying your own fear and excitement. And when someone nearby begins to directly say that he is panicking, it causes a sharp protest and rejection. It is worth paying close attention to yourself and your condition here – denying any of your emotions can lead to somatic symptoms in the body, up to and including illness.

Don’t criticize yourself or someone else for being anxious and replace it with empathy and understanding. It’s okay to be afraid when you’re scared, just don’t let yourself dive headfirst into the fear and get stuck in it.

3. “Let’s not talk about it at all!”

Such a phrase leaves a person alone with his emotions, among them – fear, anxiety, worry. By denying your loved one the opportunity to talk about the situation at all, you provoke a number of other problems. On the one hand, you create an imaginary barrier between your life and reality, and on the other hand, you reject your loved one and his need to speak out.

Veronika: The point is that speaking worrying thoughts out loud, putting anxiety into a verbal form removes the tension that has had time to form from a person’s consciousness. That is, a conversation with a loved one on the topic that triggers a person is very therapeutic in itself. After that, relief comes.

4. “The whole world is against us – we should prepare for the worst!”

Veronika: With this phrase you literally plunge a person into a state of hopelessness, creating an extremely negative illusion that everything is bad. This is not the first time the world crisis has happened, it is one of the stages of life in society, which has its beginning and its end. A more constructive and adaptive position implies planning your actions for different outcomes of events and reasonable moral preparation for the fact that changes can be quite serious.

5. Silence

This is when you are so withdrawn into yourself, hidden away, that you cannot basically say anything about the topic that is troubling everyone. “Social mute” is extremely toxic, it comes as a consequence of a deep trauma suffered sometime in the past and manifested against the backdrop of today’s stress.

There is no support or constructive dialog with others, even those closest to you.

Veronika: This is the most alarming bell, signaling the approach of a depressive disorder or other neurological abnormalities. If you notice such a condition in yourself or a loved one, it is recommended to provide immediate support and consult a specialist.