It’s all in your head: why it’s important to look after your mental health

People are exposed to stress on a daily basis: studies, work, unfavorable situation in the world. Many people do not even think about it and do not notice that they are constantly under tension. Gradually it accumulates and eventually can lead to serious psychological problems.

Clinical psychologist and PhD Svetlana Bronniková tells how to cope with pressure and realize that it is time to seek help.

From what does a person get stress?

In fact, literally from everything. Stress is a normal reaction to any stimulus. With its help, the body adapts to the changed situation. Physiologist Hans Sellier, who described stress back in the XIX century, distinguished two forms of stress: stress and distress. He called stress the normative reaction of the organism to stimuli from the environment, and distress – excessive. Actually, what we call stress, from the point of view of physiology, should be called distress.

Distress is an excessive, too bright, too intense reaction of the nervous system to an emerging stimulus.

In ordinary life, when people say they are experiencing severe stress, what they really mean is that the stress is excessive for the psyche, it is too intense or too long.

The body reacts about the same way to one-time intense stress and to long-term chronic stress. The first includes, for example, an unexpected layoff and the accompanying problems – the consequences of such a blow can be quite long and serious, up to depression. An example of chronic stress can be aggressive neighbors in the apartment: daily quarrels and clashes do not allow a person to relax and keep in constant tension.

Research shows that “small” stresses that add up together can cause the same traumatic reaction as a one-time significant stressor.

How easy is it to relieve stress?

It is impossible to completely avoid stress, and life would be too boring without it. There is such a biological concept – homeostasis, the state of the organism, when it is in a sense of total balance: there is no need to eat, to find a partner, to shelter from the cold. It is similar to sleep or oblivion – life ends there.

The secret to calm is not to avoid stress, but to respond to it appropriately. Simple mindfulness practices, such as observing the breath, can help with this. Mindfulness practices are similar to meditation, but the latter also has a spiritual component. These same techniques allow you to concentrate on what is happening here and now, but not react to it in any way.

This is also the basis of the practice of regulating emotional states – surfing “on the wave of emotions”. You may experience anger, hatred, rage, sadness, crushing grief, shame, guilt, disgust – all of these are unpleasant and negative feelings. Try to observe them without reacting in any way. After a while you will find that the state has become more stable and you are more calm.

The modern world is built on constant stimuli to the nervous system. For example, during a meeting, you are also checking email, reading documents, responding to chat messages. Such multitasking is not an advantage, but a disadvantage. It makes a person extremely vulnerable to stress, and as a result, prone to overwhelm and depression.

Not multitasking is a very important point in terms of mental hygiene. If you decide to drink tea, allow yourself to interrupt for five minutes, turn off the monitor, ignore incoming messages and just rest. And if you decide to read a document, immerse yourself in this activity completely. You’ll soon see your quality of life improve.

How do you detect a predisposition to depressed moods?

One of the markers of stress is the feeling that life has become bland. If you don’t feel like waking up in the morning, work doesn’t bring any positive vibes, and at the thought of going home or seeing friends, all you think about is how much your head hurts and how noisy it’s going to be, it’s likely that you are depressed.

Not experiencing joy all the time and for every occasion is normal. However, there are bound to be areas of well-being in your life. For example, when you are having a difficult time in a relationship, but everything is fine at work, or vice versa. But if none of the areas of life does not bring satisfaction, it’s time to consider seeing a therapist.

A specialist can help you find answers to even the most difficult questions. “Why am I living? Is there a meaning in my life? What have I achieved? Why didn’t my life turn out the way I wanted it to? What do I really want?” – these questions at a certain period are asked by absolutely everyone. Having found answers to them, a person becomes calmer. The main thing is to learn to change what can be changed, with the help of certain skills and techniques, and to accept what can not be changed.

How to realize that it is time to turn to a psychologist?

It is necessary to turn to a specialist when there are violations of adaptation – normal physiological and mental functioning. For example, you have problems with sleep or eating: you can not sleep, regularly overeat, etc.

Also an alarm bell – aids to regulate emotions, for example, alcohol. We are not talking about a glass of wine at dinner, but about systematic abuse, when without it you can not fall asleep or relax.

These are the first signals that indicate that you should consult a specialist. You need to understand that there is nothing shameful, humiliating or dangerous about it. It is better to go to a few sessions of psychotherapy than to try to solve emotional problems with the help of alcohol.

What is happiness from a psychological point of view?

In the modern world, the concept of happiness is very often replaced by the concept of possessing something or someone: “When I buy an apartment or a new car, get a new job, make a leap in my career, get married or get married, when I have children, that’s when happiness will come. Often people put happiness on hold, spend their lives waiting for it, and end up disappointed because it never comes.

According to one definition, happiness is not about the destination, but the flavor of the journey. It is about a certain way of living life without wallowing in extreme negative emotions, without experiencing extreme bouts of rage, envy, and hatred. How can this be achieved?

Unfortunately, in today’s world most people live their lives on autopilot – without regaining consciousness, without taking their eyes off the screen of their smartphone, looking at mail, watching YouTube videos. In the morning they get up, wash their face, drink coffee, get in the car, turn on the radio or music. At the same time, they are never alone with themselves, their bodies, their emotions. The way to happiness is through awareness: you need to be present in the here and now, to be in the moment and live each moment in its fullness.