Dan izstopa. ZDA bodo na nov praznik odpravile sankcije proti Rusiji

The Russian national soccer team is the weakest team at the 2018 World Cup. At least, that’s what the rankings say. Therefore, it cannot have any weak opponents and getting out of the group will be a great achievement. What is there – a holiday, which in Russia has not been for a long time. And if Russia can do it, then…

The birth rate will skyrocket

We all know what kind of things can be done in a fit of mad joy. Fans will become as affectionate as possible, which will inevitably lead to a surge in the birth rate. We will find out about it a little later, but things will happen on the night of the Russian national team’s exit from the group at the World Cup. Well, and a few more days in a row, until the match of 1/8 finals with Spain. And how many Stanislavs will be born in nine months!

America will lift sanctions

The United States will realize once and for all that sanctions will not help the cause. If the Russian national soccer team was able to get out of the group, nothing will frighten the Russians. Donald Trump will invite the entire national team to the White House, but they will refuse. Because no serious teams go there now.

The RFPL will cancel the limit

The elixir of adequacy will reach the RFPL office and cancel the limit on foreigners right after the final whistle of the match Russia – Uruguay. Aleksandr Golovin will go to Juventus, Fyodor Smolov to Everton, Roman Zobnin to Borussia Dortmund, Daler Kuzyaev to Inter and Vladimir Gabulov to Brugge. Oh yes, he was there anyway.

Russia’s GDP will double

The success of the Russian national team will make Russians get up from their couches and go to raise the Russian economy. On joy, factories will double their productivity, small and medium-sized businesses will get conditions for development, and for retirement you can buy lobsters and go on vacation to Seychelles every two weeks.

Justin Bieber will dedicate a song to Cherchesov

The famous Canadian pop singer will also not stay away from the holiday. Justin will write a platinum hit about the head coach of the Russian national team Stanislav Cherchesov. One of the verses will be performed by Dezl. The song will break into the American charts, and Cherchesov will be invited to the LA Galaxy. Hollywood will finally learn about Russia.

Alcoholics will trade tincture for a tourniquet.

Drug addicts, alcoholics and deadbeats will see that only sports can lead to success. Alcoholic Gennady, after seeing Dzyuba’s winning goal, will find a new faith in life, throw tasty grape tincture in the trash and push up from the floor twice. For every Russian goal in the group stage.

Group stage exit day will forever be a day off

We will increase GDP, we will develop healthy lifestyle, but we should rest at some point! We can’t always work like the damned. Therefore, by presidential decree, Group Quit Day will henceforth be a public holiday. Russia will always rest on June 25.

RFPL clubs will become self-sufficient.

In the best league in the world (FNL) everything is fine, but in the RFPL the issue of self-sufficiency was acute. After the World Cup everything will change. All the stadiums will be packed to capacity, clubs will get crazy profits from ticket sales, Yuri Gazinsky’s shirts will sell out in two million copies. UEFA will cite Ufa as an ideal example of financial fair-play.

DiCaprio will ask for Russian citizenship

The famous Hollywood actor will get more emotions from the Russian national team’s exit from the group than from receiving the long-awaited Oscar. Leonardo will ask for Russian citizenship, and while his application will be considered, will shoot a movie about Russian soccer. The release of the movie will coincide with the receipt of a Russian passport.

Buffon will come to us

Italian goalkeeper Gianluigi Buffon will start watching the World Cup on TV, but after seeing the first two matches of the Russian national team, he will take a ticket to Samara for the match with Uruguay, where after the game he will meet with representatives of Volgograd Rotor. Emotions will be so high that the Italian will throw his contract with PSG out the window and go to raise Rotor in the RFPL. Of course, he will succeed in this.

Skripal admits that he has been playing for Tambov since childhood

Ex-GRU colonel Sergei Skripal, discharged from the hospital in Salisbury, will give a big interview on Russian TV, where he will confess his love for soccer club Tambov and reveal the whole truth in the story of his poisoning. Stroking his Russian passport in his hand.