Why it is normal and even sometimes useful to be sad

Happiness is a variable variable. It is believed that the happiest people are not those who experience bliss, but those who have the most stable positive outlook. But it’s impossible to be happy all the time. And psychologists can explain why.

Practicing psychologist, member of the Association for Cognitive Behavioral Psychotherapy, fairy tale therapist.

Nature is wise and endowed humans with emotions for a reason. Each emotion has a meaning and a purpose: anger speaks about the violation of our boundaries, joy – about getting what we want, disgust – about danger (potential infection, for example, from a leper) and so on.

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What sadness tells us

Let’s imagine that you made plans for the summer and dreamed of going to Europe. You saved up money and… everything fell apart due to circumstances beyond your control. What emotions will you experience? Initially there may be anger and anger, because you were deprived of what you wanted. But then, objectively assessing the situation, you can accept what happened and experience sadness.

According to etymology, this word is related to the Old Russian “sadness”, that is, “grief”, “disaster”. By rejecting the emotion of sadness (sorrow), a person ignores the loss and deprives himself of the opportunity to rethink the event, to live it.

By suppressing sadness, trying to look cheerful and satisfied, we drive this emotion deep inside. And it will definitely make itself known, but later. For example, in the form of psychosomatic disorders – real diseases that arise on the nervous ground. In this case, a full treatment may be required. How to feel better on a bad day, without suppressing your own emotions, read the article at the link below.

Sadness is often accompanied by tears, and they help the body synthesize the hormone endorphin. It reduces pain and relaxes. Therefore, to cry in difficult moments of life is even useful. But if you cry constantly and for no apparent reason, you should be wary and consult a specialist.

Cause for concern is also the opposite situation: when you look happy, but constantly feel sad and sadness. This can be a sign of dysthymia, a mild form of depression. Some people live in this state since childhood and do not realize that it is possible to experience genuine joy.

Why you can’t be happy all the time

psychologist, lecturer at the Moscow Institute of Psychoanalysis

Happiness is a state of joy, but not when “cheap” dopamine goes off the scale, but when there is a sense of our own psychological well-being. When we are sure that we are good, the world around us is good and there is a wonderful future ahead. This is the true measure of happiness.

When we experience joy, we are living a certain emotion. And emotions are indicators of our relationship with the world around us. They are a vector that shows if we are doing well.

However, if we are constantly in a state of happiness, we will not survive as a species. Negative emotions are a signal that something is going wrong in the outside world or there are problems in the body. It is not just a psychological experience, but a bodily one as well.

For example, when something starts to hurt, a negative emotion is born, prompting us to go to the doctor. If that impetus is not there, we get sick and may not be able to get help in time.

It’s okay to be sad. For example, when we go through a certain crisis, let’s say an age crisis. Without the state of sadness we cannot overcome it. When we think that everything is normal, we get stuck in our current psychological age and cannot develop.

Anastasia: I am strongly against toxic positivity – when a person is demanded to always be upbeat, ready for accomplishments, smiling. It only causes harm. You can’t create all the time, our biology is not designed for that. At some point we get exhausted – we need an emotional recharge.

Everyone has experiences inside that are difficult to cope with. How to overcome and stop depressing thoughts, read in the previous material at the link.