5 mistakes that the hero of “Avatar 2” makes in raising his son: the analysis of the psychologist

If you’ve already enjoyed watching the sequel to the iconic Avatar, you’ve noticed the new storylines. James Cameron emphasized the relationships within Jake Sully and Neytiri’s family. The union grew larger and they had three children of their own and two adopted children.

As in any family, along with happiness and love came problems and misunderstandings. They are especially acute in the relationship between Jake and the middle son, Loak, who has entered puberty.

The boy’s desire to learn about the world does not resonate with his courageous father and is perceived by him as disobedience. All the more so when Loak’s emotional, rash actions lead to tragic consequences.

Defending the boundaries, the desire to be independent often meets misunderstanding on the part of parents. From a cute obedient baby child turns into a real tomboy. Boldly, violates the prohibitions and simply pisses off adults. Stay calm and with a cool head is difficult.

Stanislav Sambursky

clinical psychologist, business psychologist

Sooner or later, every family faces adolescence – a difficult stage for children and parents. On average, puberty falls between the ages of 10 and 17. Parents complain about the awkward child, and children feel pressure from adults. It’s not surprising that many parenting blunders can be made during this time.

Let’s break down the major mistakes parents make when a teenager comes into the family. Jake Sully’s family was not spared.

1- Ignoring the physiological factor

The carefree life of children ends when hormones interfere with development. It’s not just the body that changes. Hormones are activated in the brain that affect the emotional state. They are the cause of temper, aggressiveness, tearfulness. Therefore – it is not the child spoiled, it is his body learns to live differently.

2. The desire to bring up a “comfortable child”

Many parents try to subjugate the teenager, dictate to him their conditions, rules and laws. They do not consider his desires. Do not ask what his thoughts, goals, needs, do not encourage his autonomy. On the contrary, they create a huge gap between each other. The mistake also lies in the fact that parents continue to consider children small and incapable of making decisions. Later on, a helpless child may fall under the influence of bad company and achieve little success in life.

3- Ignoring worries

No matter how independent children try to be, they need family support. When a teenager shares his or her innermost feelings, he or she wants to be understood, to feel that his or her parents want to help him or her, and to feel that they believe in him or her. Phrases such as “Is this nonsense making you suffer?”, “Believe me, it’s not a problem!” – devalue feelings, hit self-esteem. It is important to remember: children have no life experience, so many small things are perceived by them in the scale of tragedy.

4. restrictions and punishment

Resort to these methods of education – fraught. Often parents think: “Here I was punished, so I grew up a normal person”. And who can prove it? The emotional background of the teenager in such a mode even more rebellious. Hatred grows and creates a desire to leave home.

5. Ignoring personal space

Adolescence is characterized by the emergence of boundaries: mine means mine, and no one should touch it. Phone, briefcase, pockets, closet – checking these things undermines trust in parents and even in oneself. If the child is treated with respect, such measures will not be necessary.

It is difficult to communicate with a person who has one foot in childhood and the other step into adulthood. It is hard to put up with their rash actions, hooliganism and aggression. But whatever the case, respect for the teenager and his personal space, attention to his feelings, encouragement of independence and the absence of cruel methods of education will help to survive puberty without fatal consequences.

Perhaps the story of Avatar in the second movie would have been different if Jake Sully had been able to understand his middle son a little more deeply.

If you want to raise a goal-oriented child without resorting to pressure and manipulation, an educational psychologist’s guide can help. Find it here.
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