How to talk about being overweight without offending anyone

It can be very difficult to talk to your loved ones about weight problems: you need to choose the right words and be tactful. But it often happens that they themselves do not worry about the gained pounds – and your comments will be superfluous. If your friend or relative does suffer from excess weight, you need to consider some nuances to discuss the problem. What is the right way to talk about such a difficult topic?

心理学家

If you want to tell someone else about their overweight just because you think it’s time for them to lose weight, it’s at least incorrect.

Eleanor: In most cases, people who are overweight realize that they need to lose weight. Most are ashamed of it, embarrassed, want to change, but because of a combination of reasons they can not do it. Some people have hormonal disruptions, others have eating disorders, others eat their worries. This is a complex problem that must be solved gently and delicately. The only exceptions are cases of obvious obesity, which threatens health, but the person does not do anything about it. Then the focus of attention should be directed not on the issue of excess weight, but on the problem of health and nutrition. Try to motivate your loved one to improve their health.

What is the right way to discuss excess weight?

You should not start a conversation about weight loss first, it is better to wait for the right moment. For example, when your loved one himself decides to share his worries and dissatisfactions about his condition.

At such times, you should not pretend that you do not understand the problem. Ask your friend or other half to tell more about the experience and tactfully offer your methods of solving the problem.

psychologist, family therapist

No one knows what is safe for the psyche and what is not. But it is hardly possible to “destroy” an adult with a comment about weight.

Anastasia: Only the person himself has the right to decide how to deal with his own body. And in a relationship it is important to respect the boundaries of your partner. If a person has the desire, the need, the physical ability to keep fit, he will do it. If something is lacking, no one else can change it.

It is definitely not worth demonstrating to your loved ones that their extra weight is extremely uncomfortable and burdens you. If you start to shame a person, the reaction may be ambiguous: someone will really start to lose weight, but to a critical unhealthy state, and someone – to eat negative emotions with even greater persistence.

Both options are dangerous, because they lead to eating disorders, slow down the metabolism and destroy the body from the inside. Therefore, you should not listen to advice that calls for openly criticizing excess weight.

Anastasia: It is necessary to answer the question: why is it important for me that my partner looks different, thin, muscular, slender? If weight for you affects sexual arousal, it is important to say through yourself: “I no longer feel attracted”, “the physical component is very important to me, it affects my desire”.

At the same time, it is necessary to make sure that the partner has a physical opportunity to lose weight. For example, there is no hormonal disruption and we are not talking about the recovery period after pregnancy. You will always be able to explain your feelings and experiences to your partner or friend if you act out of love for him or her and not out of personal grievances.